This is an excellent and deeply important conversation, one which illuminates my journey and that of countless others. These glimpses into the workshop with Richard Schwartz and Lama John Makransky is absolutely not just for those who identify with Buddhism. This is for everyone, regardless of your faith and spiritual tradition. It is, in my perspective, for all of us who are human.
My own path of healing and transformation has been a long 40+ year journey. Many years were spent in supporting me to recognize and embrace different parts of myself — the parts that are alcoholic and addicted to substances and variety of nonsubstances, the parts of myself that are a traumatized and abused child, the parts that are a fierce inner critic and judgmental of myself and others, the poor boundaries and caretaking parts that use focusing on others as a way of avoiding my own deeper needs and emotions, the parts which are perfectionistic and controlling and needing to feel better than, the parts of me that are disassociated and isolated and alone, the parts within myself that are easily triggered and reactive; the parts that are full of fear and shame, the parts of me which are angry and anxious and depressed, the parts of myself that feel worthless and unlovable and disconnected, the parts within me which hold an ocean of grief, the parts that feel separate from and deeply frightened of intimacy and vulnerability and trusting anyone, the parts of me that have gotten sick and showed up with symptoms like fibromyalgia, and the parts of myself that are trying to manage an image and who I think you want me to be rather embodying my authentic Self. That's a lot of parts! And a lot of pain.
Over the years I have discovered that there are many different aspects of my inner self that I have taken on and which — while some may have once served an important purpose in helping me to survive a traumatic childhood — as an adult have caused me to be increasingly stuck in the suffering of the legacy burdens which had been blindly passed down to me by my ancestors and the culture at large.
Today I understand that coming to recognize and give expression to these different parts in itself was not enough. There remained no consistent access to deep peace and joy and beauty and love. And I continued to be limited in my capacity to embody the 8 C's illuminated in Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the work of Richard Schwartz: compassion, curiosity, clarity, creativity, calm, confidence, courage, and connectedness. Unknown to me, much of the way that I continued to live my life was not Self-led.
What I understand today is that, even through many years of counseling and 12 Step meetings and engagement in multiple other resources of support, I had continued to experience an impaired connection with my Self — the essence of who I am. This Self which underlies all of my various parts cannot be hurt or diminished. It is always there. And it is the support, wisdom, and empowerment of rooting into the journey of opening to increasingly inhabit my Self that had for years been the critical missing piece of my journey.
Thanks to a deeply wise and compassionate therapist and other loving sources, it has now been many years since I began to earnestly engage in the work of ending this long estrangement with the greater wholeness of who I most truly am. Today I am more often than not able to recognize and experience with the deepest compassion the trauma wounds held in my different parts when they arise. And rather than identifying with any one part, I can hold myself. My hurting parts are held in the compassionate embrace of my Self. This is the process which has gifted me with unburdening and transforming the wounded parts of myself rather than identifying with and acting out of them.
It is also true that while I absolutely need the intimacy and love and support of those I am closest with, we humans are after all relational beings, I can now also hold myself with compassion and love. I understand, I really get it, that there are no bad parts. None. And it is this profound and ever growing embodiment of my compassionate Self which has increasingly freed me from the burdens of trauma embedded in my family and our culture back through time.
It is my belief that we all are born as sacred, beautiful beings and that Love is the essence of who we are. Yet, in our culture and beyond, it is so easy to lose ourselves and get caught up in what my therapist has referred to as "misidentification." We identify as an alcoholic, as a depressed or anxious person, or with any array of trauma triggers and symptoms — mistakenly believing this is who we are rather than simply wounded parts of ourselves that can be healed and transformed.
Today, however, there are alternatives. There is an evolution occurring in how addiction, depression, and other symptoms of trauma are being seen and held, addressed and treated, healed and transformed. We can find the resources of wise and loving support which empowers us to experience the spiritual awakening of embodying our compassionate Self. We can become increasingly integrated, loving, whole, and Self-led.
At least this has been my experience, and I believe the birth right of us all — to love ourselves and others through this process of shedding the legacy burdens we have carried and opening to the deep transformation of inhabiting the authentic being who we most truly are.
Integrating Parts of Ourselves Into the Process of Spiritual Awakening With Dick Schwartz and Lama John Makransky
This video contains selected highlights to give you a taste of this groundbreaking, historic event. To experience this workshop in full, it is available at the IFS store...just click here: https://ifs-institute.com/store/205
On March 30th 2019 - a bright crisp early Spring day in Cambridge, Massachusetts - a gathering was held at the Cambridge Friends Meeting House.
This day was an opportunity for an enthusiastic audience to witness a continuing conversation – a meeting of minds – between Dr. Richard Schwartz, founder of IFS or Internal Family Systems and Lama John Makransky, developer of ICT or Innate Compassion Training – which is derived from Tibetan Buddhism.
Offered as a daylong workshop, there were conceptual presentations, experiential guided practices, a video presentation and animated, inspiring conversation about spiritual practice and the many parallels and potential synergy between IFS and Tibetan Buddhism.
Please enjoy these selected highlights. If you want to experience the workshop in full, please click here: https://ifs-institute.com/store/205
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