Sunday, August 25, 2024

Dr. Tori Olds: How to Find Yourself | The "True Self" in IFS Therapy - Part 2

In again sharing these posts related to IFS (Internal Family Systems), I reflect on the many years of sobriety and healing work that I was engaged in for decades and yet deep healing and transformation continued to elude me. And despite my best efforts and doing everything that I was told to do and more, despite years of sobriety and "inner child work" and connecting with multiple resources of support, in early adolescence each of my three sons began to demonstrate symptoms of generational and cultural trauma that I had thought we'd left behind. Something Big was missing.

What IFS provides is a framework and practice which illuminates what I had needed, and what my family had needed, all those many years ago that was missing. Held here is the crucial key to unlocking an increasingly strong connection with my Self, which I believe is the core of who we all are. This is the pathway which has empowered me to live an increasingly Self-led life, to be free of any possibility of relapse into old substance addictions, and to respond to the joys and sorrows of life with ever growing clarity, wisdom, compassion, grace, and love. This is true freedom.

And as Dr. Tori Olds speaks to here, this is the kind of individual and collective healing, awakening, and transformation which is deeply needed to heal ourselves, our families, our communities, our nation, our planet. It cannot be overstated the power of engaging in this journey of exploring our many parts, freeing our managers and protectors from their roles, unburdening our exiled or wounded parts, and growing a strong connection with our Self — and thus freeing ourselves to be who we most wholly are. 

May we all experience increasingly Self-led lives. Our world will change as we do. 🙏🙏 Molly

Welcome to Part 2 of my series: What is IFS? Internal Family Systems Therapy, Explained. In this video, I present IFS's answer to the questions: "Who am I?" and "When I feel lost, how do I find myself again?" I describe how our true self or "big S self" is often hidden by the parts of us that have adapted defenses to deal with our painful or traumatic experiences and how IFS uses parts work to help us to unblend from our parts and reconnect to our real self. I describe the eight C's of the self and explain why is is so easy to lose connection with our authentic self and become blended with our parts. Discuss the concept of neural integration as way of explaining unblending from a scientific perspective. Finally, I end by arguing that reconnecting with our true self is not only essential for our own personal growth, but is also imperative for successful collaboration in our complex and increasingly polarized society. #toriolds #partswork #ifs #trueself 00:00 The True Self According to Internal Family Systems 02:55 What Are Parts? 05:55 What Does it Mean to “Unblend” From Parts? 07:02 What is the Big S Self? 08:28 The 8 C’s of the Self. 09:42 Why We Lose Connection With the True Self 10:56 Neural Integration and the Neuroscience of the True Self 12:52 Reconnecting to the True Self for Personal AND Societal Growth

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Suggested Reading

No Bad Part: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness With the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard Schwartz — https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1683646681

You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Bringing Courageous Love to Intimate Relationships by Richard Schwartz  https://www.amazon.com/Youve-Waiting-Internal-Family-Systems/dp/0615249329

The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing In a Toxic Culture by Gabor Maté — https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881

When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Gabor Maté — https://www.amazon.com/When-Body-Says-No-Hidden/dp/178504222X

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