Personal Reflections on Memorial Day

 Let Us Honor Their Deaths By Questioning 

Anyone Calling For More of Them

My grandfather is someone who I carry in my heart. There were those who referred to him as Fritz or General or Dad. We grandchildren called him "Super," and in many ways he was indeed super. After my grandmother, "Sugar" (who, like my mother, had also been narcissistic), died early in 1970, I began to spend more time with my grandfather. Our relationship blossomed and I came to feel deeply supported and loved by my grandfather. 

Back in the 80's, it was Super who first told me that I have a writer in me. That meant so much coming from my brilliant grandfather who graduated top of his West Point Class of 1910. As the decades went on, at some point I learned that no one had surpassed his grade point average until sometime in the 1970's. Super had also taught Eisenhower at West Point and served in both WWI and WWII, but went on to believe that his most important work were his achievements after the second World War that were related to developing prostheses. My grandfather had many friends and family and, after reading John Steinbeck's Travels With Charlie at age 90, he decided that it's now or never. And he got in his car and proceeded to do a 10,000 mile solo trip around the country. He actually drove till he turned 96, which was too long...

The last time Super flew out from Michigan to visit our family in Oregon was in 1984. On May 16th, 1986 — what would have been his 99th birthday — we buried General Frederick Smith Strong, Jr. at West Point to a 21 gun solute. I remember being overwhelmed with tears which flooded and overwhelmed me with the loss of my grandfather and other great losses which I had only begun to grieve.

Brigadier General Frederick Smith Strong, Jr., 1887-1986

Major General Frederick Smith Strong, graduate West Point class of 1880, 1855-1935

My grandparents with their four children at their Orchard Lake home, Michigan. My parents, Jack and Nancy Strong, are standing on the left.

 *****

A final interview with my grandfather occurred when he was well up in his 90's. And what stands out to me from that interview was how adamant he was that our nation must never be pulled into a war in the Middle East. He knew the enormity of the catastrophic consequences that would follow if ever our government were to engage in such an extraordinarily misguided and horrific act. 

My grandfather was no fool. He had his shortcomings, as we all do. And he had also strengthened his capacity for wisdom. My grandfather concurred completely with President Eisenhower's warning in his final White House speech in 1961 about the military-industrial complex:

"Yet, we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources, and livelihood are all involved. So is the very structure of our society. In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together."

My grandfather also knew this to be true: 

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron." — Dwight D. Eisenhower

On this Memorial Day, and as I so often do, I think of my grandfather. And I find myself talking with him and imagining how he would respond. And sometimes I wish I could just curl up in his arms and cry.

*****

There was a time not all that long ago that I was much more ignorant and asleep. There were so many ways that my understanding was limited, that I had been propagandized, that I was not questioning, that I bought what I was told and taught, and that I internalized the cultural stories I was immersed in. I certainly never questioned whether the news I listened to was being reported on behalf of the powerful or if it was holding accountable and reporting on the powerful. I had no idea that what I had been hearing throughout my lifetime was propaganda or that I had been indoctrinated or that I had deeply ignorant about so much.

Then 9-11 happened. And in my shock and grief I began to question and to go places I hadn't gone before. I knew in my deepest self that we were not attacked because "they hate our freedoms." And I absolutely knew that what was needed was not to go shopping or to engage in war talk. But I didn't know what was needed... other than my sense of having to know — WHY? Why did 9-11 happen?? I had to know.

I switched from music radio to NPR and then to (alternative and independent radio) KBOO, which led me to Amy Goodman and Democracy Now!, Jeremy Scahill, Arundhati Roy, Noam Chomsky, Truthout, Common Dreams, Alternative Radio with David Barsamian, The Intercept, and much, much more. And I began watching Bill Moyers and documentaries and seeking out independent investigative journalists and visionary authors and courageous truth-tellers. My book shelves began to fill with books signed by authors I was making the time to see and listen to and learn from when they came to Portland. And one thread was leading to another to another. 

And my whole world was turned upside down. America was not exceptional in the sense that I'd been taught. What I was learning is that we are exceptionally violent. And the suffering and horrors that our government and large corporate interests have created is beyond heartbreaking and horrifying. America is not the nation that is spreading democracy. In truth, more often than not we are the nation that has supported coups and sought to overthrow democratically elected leaders, that has exploited and laid claim to the resources of other nations, that has justified war after war, and — as Martin Luther King, Jr. illuminated — has become the greatest purveyor of violence on Earth. 

So is it any wonder that so many around the world are fearful and angry with the United States? It is any surprise that the violence committed in our names has created  the blow-back that has landed in so many ways on our shores and in our politics, in our homes, and in our hearts and minds? It is no small thing that 22 veterans commit suicide each and every day and that 200,000 are homeless in this land of the free, home of the brave.

I miss my grandfather.

*****

Memorial Day makes my head spin. It is crazy-making! How many who speak about patriotism and honoring those who have "died for our country" know that these wars that we are engaged in today are not about fighting for democracy and against terrorism, and that they are not about keeping us safe and ensuring us our freedoms? No. These wars are resource wars whose bottom line is to make a small number of very wealthy persons even more wealthy. That is the dirty little evil secret that we all need to know.

As Howard Zinn aptly states, "The memory of the dead deserves a different dedication." Because what we have going now is a lie, one which is destroying so many human lives, families, our nation, our resources, and the planet. Plain and simple — war is not the answer. Drones and nuclear weapons and other weapons of war are not the answer. Telling our children that it is a good thing to grow up and join the army or the marines is not the answer when what that means is to likely be complicit in war. Promoting fear and dehumanization is not the answer. The justification of violence is not the answer. Violence only begets more violence. 

And the lies about patriotism drive me crazy. We need to redefine what it means to be patriotic. And as Howard Zinn states, "If patriotism were defined, not as blind obedience to government, not as submissive worship to flags and anthems, but rather as love of one's country, one's fellow citizens (all over the world), as loyalty to the principles of justice and democracy, then patriotism would require us to disobey our government, when it violated those principles."

Arundhati Roy also goes on to nail it in this quote about "anti-Americanism":

“Anti-Americanism is in the process of being consecrated into an ideology.

The term 'anti-American' is usually used by the American establishment to discredit and, not falsely -- but shall we say inaccurately -- define its critics. Once someone is branded anti-American, the chances are that he or she will be judged before they're heard and the argument will be lost in the welter of bruised national pride.

What does the term 'anti-American' mean? Does it mean you're anti-jazz? Or that you're opposed to free speech? That you don't delight in Toni Morrison or John Updike? That you have a quarrel with giant sequoias? Does it mean you don't admire the hundreds of thousands of American citizens who marched against nuclear weapons, or the thousands of war resisters who forced their government to withdraw from Vietnam? Does it mean that you hate all Americans? .....

To call someone 'anti-American', indeed, to be anti-American, (or for that matter anti-Indian, or anti- Timbuktuan) is not just racist, it's a failure of the imagination. An inability to see the world in terms other than those that the establishment has set out for you: If you're not a Bushie you're a Taliban. If you don't love us, you hate us. If you're not good you're evil. If you're not with us, you're with the terrorists.”

And, again, I return to Howard Zinn: "Another Memorial Day. Another war. Yes, let's honor those who died in the nation's many wars. But if we do not want to keep adding to the soldiers' graves, let's also ask why they died... Memorial Day should be a day for putting flowers on graves and planting trees. Also for destroying the weapons of death that endanger us more than they protect us, that waste our resources and threaten our children and grandchildren."

*****

Today I recognize what a brainwashed people so many of us are because I've been there! I understand what it is to believe something and then have all that turned on its head. I understand the pain and disillusionment of being shaken awake and coming to clearly see how the American corporate media and the American corporate politicians work so insidiously to shape our brains and infect our hearts, minds, and souls. War and greed is such a dangerous addiction. And with endless war in the Middle East and talks about spreading even more war to Venezuela and Iran, what I see today is how late stage we are in this addiction. Because once awake we get it! And once we get it, we would never ask our children to go off and kill the children of others in a far away land or anywhere because we know the cost to their souls. And we are empowered with seeing through the lie. So we just wouldn't do it.

And for those still in doubt about ending the brutal business of war and the poisonous lies that promote it, just imagine seeing and witnessing a veteran who is right this moment about to take his or her life because living the lie, living with the trauma, living with the tortured truth that too many non-veterans do not want to hear is simply too much to bear. Just go to a Winter Soldier event and listen to their stories. Then you'll know. 

When we send our children to war, we all too often send them off to return shattered, broken, haunted, tormented and tortured. It isn't just that others in other countries die and are displaced and experience horrendous trauma and loss. We are also sending our children off to experience the unimaginable horrors that are woven through war. How can one live with the story of what heroes they are when they know the truth is that they have committed or been witness to atrocities? How can anyone bear such a lie? Is it any wonder that our vets so often return only to die here of suicide or addictions or the inability of forming intimate healthy relationships with others?

If you don't think this is true, again, just go to a Winter Soldier event. Find a veteran and listen to their stories. Give a dollar to the homeless veteran standing on your street corners and look deeply into their eyes, as I do just about every day. Hook up with Veterans For Peace and learn why they are such fierce warriors for peace. Hear their stories! I have. Again and again and again, I've sought out these experiences which I could barely stand to simply witness. Because it was so painful. But I did not leave. And I will not turn away.  

The courageous ones who present at Winter Soldier events, who share their stories and songs and poetry, who refuse to be silent any longer, and who are instead speaking the truth about war deserve our witnessing and fierce support, compassion, and love. Fewer will take their lives as we learn to listen. And to stop living and promoting the lie. They need for us to not turn away. This is how we can truly support the troops. 

And we can honor them by also speaking the truth. As we do, more will come out of hiding. And the flags will be put away. And talk about nationalism will be replaced with new discussions and values which are rooted in peace, beginning within the hearts of each of us.

*****

"We often think of peace as the absence of war, that if powerful countries would reduce their weapon arsenals, we could have peace. But if we look deeply into the weapons, we see our own minds- our own prejudices, fears and ignorance. Even if we transport all the bombs to the moon, the roots of war and the roots of bombs are still there, in our hearts and minds, and sooner or later we will make new bombs. To work for peace is to uproot war from ourselves and from the hearts of men and women. To prepare for war, to give millions of men and women the opportunity to practice killing day and night in their hearts, is to plant millions of seeds of violence, anger, frustration, and fear that will be passed on for generations to come." ― Thích Nhất Hạnh, from Living Buddha, Living Christ

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death." ― Martin Luther King, Jr., Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?, 1967

"War and peace start in the human heart - and whether that heart is open or whether that heart closes has global implications." ― Pema Chödrön

*****

Some final thoughts... We all need to be peacemakers. We are all needed in this effort to heal our hearts and minds and to transform the values, belief systems, and cultural stories that we live by. We have long lived under a model based in domination rather than partnership. Rather than confine our holidays to remembrance of those who have died in war, let us also build new holidays in which we celebrate and honor the great peacemakers from our history and those who are alive today. Riane Eisler speaks powerfully to how it is that we can break out of the domination trance and instead build the foundations for a safe, equitable, and caring world: https://www.kosmosjournal.org/kj_article/breaking-out-of-the-domination-trance-building-foundations-for-a-safe-equitable-caring-world/. Let us build celebrations of Life and a world awakening! 

May we also be increasingly mindful of how indoctrinated we American are into false and harmful belief systems. Let us work on recognizing where we have bit the hook and learn to let go and choose different stories and values to live by. As part of this Great Awakening, may we also grow fierce about rooting out the poisonous and powerful influences ― of the military-industrial complex, the fossil fuel industry, Wall Street and large banks, the insurance and pharmaceutical industries, the prison industrial complex, etc., etc. ― from our economic, political, educational, and media systems and from our own minds, hearts, and souls. Let us do a great cleansing, individually and collectively, freeing ourselves more and more of the toxins which have cost us all so much and which now threaten life on Earth.

And let us be drawn to the radicals and the revolutionaries ― those who believe that it is time, far past time, for there to be a revolution in caring. Let us do this. And let us refuse to elect one more president who will speak platitudes about the war on terrorism and "defense" (code for more endless war), protecting the "homeland", etc. Let's not buy these lies any longer. Again, the cost is too great. And what we refuse to learn will just keep repeating over and over and over again. Let's get off the roller-coaster! Let's change directions and stop being complicit with those who are driving us all over the cliff into our own annihilation. Let's stop creating more endless blow-back and death-centered karma. Let's go for Life! And truly caring about one another. It is time!

And for all ― who I hope is everyone ― who are wondering who has the best record on peace (code for opposition to war), please go here: https://mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2019/05/the-news-we-need-to-know-which-2020.html. It is well worth the watch. The well-being of us all depends on an informed citizenry. And we all can inspire each other to go the next step in lifting yet one more veil of our illusions. The truth shall set us all free.

*****

On this Memorial Day, my heart breaks open again and again for all those who have been impacted in any way by war. Which, to one degree or another, is all of us. Because we are all connected. And the suffering and the joy of others is also our own. May we remember this. We're all related, all family, and all in this together. And it is my belief that we each need to take responsibility for spreading ripples of wholeness and truth, courage and consciousness, caring and connection, kindness and compassion, wisdom and love, peace and awakening. Let us birth this New World together. 

Bless us all,

Molly