Reflections On Sharing and Spreading the Gifts At the Heart of Ceremony

September 2022 - I am honored to be Intercessor at this year's ceremony

It was March of this year when my dear longtime and soulful friend Olivia Oso had invited me to lunch along with her eldest daughter Kristy in celebration of both of our birthdays, which fell just a couple of weeks apart. I had no idea that there was any kind of ulterior plan to this lunch date...

 

Olivia, Kristy, and I were enjoying a lovely time together when into the restaurant walked three women who I recognized from the Women of the 14th Moon Ceremony, an annual ceremony I'd been participating in since 1999. And I thought, oh, they must be coming here to have a small planning meeting for this year's ceremony. But then Suse, Jennifer, and Lena approached our table and I thought, oh, they must be about to ask Kristy to take on a special role for the ceremony. Only as they each drew up chairs to our table, their eyes were all on me.

And that was when I was asked to be Intercessor for the 2022 14th Moon Ceremony. I was shocked. What a great honor! But me? They are asking me?? 

 

And as I drove home that March afternoon, considering whether I would accept or not, and despite all of the old critical voices rushing forth to say I was inadequate, the stronger awareness flooding my being were the first glimpses of what is needed, what the vision could hold, what I could bring forth that was both already coming through me and also larger than me.

The planning committee, 2002 ceremony

The Women of the 14th Moon Ceremony was originally birthed in 1987 in California by three women — a Celtic woman, a Jewish woman, and a Native American woman. It was their vision to create a ceremony that would address the fear that women have in our culture of growing older. 

 

While honoring all of the life stages of women — maiden, matron, elder — this ceremony embodies a primary focus on elder women, "women of the 14th moon," who are at least 51 years of age and who have gone one year, or 14 moons, without their menstrual cycle — elder women, women who are too often marginalized in our culture. There was a sacred vision of transforming how it is that we women hold ourselves and support one another as elders — that the power of ceremony and the experience of being seen, witnessed, respected, and valued would act as an antidote to the pervasive denigrating messages of a culture enmeshed with worshiping youth, materialism, and disregard for the wisdom of our elders.

In 1996 it was Linda Neale and Julie Rochelle-Stephens who brought this ceremony up from California to the Pacific Northwest. Deepest bow of gratitude. For four years the ceremony was held on Julie's land 10 miles outside of Woodland, Washington.

I originally resisted going those first three years that I knew about the Women of the 14th Moon Ceremony. The simple truth is that the reason was more than wanting to vacation with my family over the Labor Day holiday weekend. I was also frightened. I was scared of the unknown, of being vulnerable, of opening to an experience unlike any that I'd ever had before. 

 

Then, in 1999, I pinched my nose and went. And the experience was overwhelming, powerful, transformative. That is when I knew that I would not only go back the following year, but that I would also become part of the ceremony planning committee for the next four years, from 2000-2003.

 

And it is this experience of gathering with girls and women, aged 11-93, in ceremony over these past many years that is one part of what has radically changed, not just my experience of being a woman, and now an elder woman, but my connectedness with my own heart, the hearts of us all, the Earth, the Divine Feminine, the Sacred. 

 

Never again would I consider hiding from anyone my age. I am grateful to now be 71 ones old. And gradually over time I've come to absorb that there  is no shame in being an elder woman. None. Not in my wrinkles, not in my added pounds, not in the fact that I am an older human being. No shame. There are instead many gifts — gifts that are so deeply needed.

I hold with deep gratitude this ceremony which has ultimately served as yet another experience in my life which has helped empower me to shed the obstacles that I have unknowingly built against love, compassion, connection. I know that this also holds true for countless other women. And for all whose sacred experiences in ceremony serve to ripple outward to nourish our families, our communities, our world.

 

Imagine a culture which actually illuminates and honors the wisdom of its elders, the sacred feminine, the Earth. Imagine a culture embodying balance and wisdom, consciousness and connection, compassion and love. Just imagine...

The ceremonial arbor, September 2022

While  this ceremony for women has spread to different parts of the country, and also to other nations, in more recent years the mother ceremony that I have been part of has been held on beautiful land outside of Portland in Beavercreek, Oregon. Every Labor Day weekend between 55-130 women camp out over 2-1/2 to 4 days. We erect a sacred ceremonial arbor, we collaborate and celebrate, and we bless and honor in ceremony ourselves as women, our different life stages, our ancestors, the Archetypal and Sacred Feminine, and our Earth Mother.

 

While the bones of the ceremony remain the same, each year there are unique qualities brought forth and woven through with the Intercessor's vision and the visions and collaboration of all who are part of the planning committee. There is no one size fits all and everyone of us has our own personal experiences, wisdom, intentions, visions and love which permeate the ceremony. 

 

As human beings, we also bring our strengths and our struggles, our places of healing and needed healing, our wounds and our gifts. And each year there is a different woman who is asked to be Intercessor, the woman who will hold safe and sacred space while bringing forth a vision which will connect, nourish, and strengthen all who will participate and beyond...

I am moved to share my experiences as Intercessor this year because I am aware of the need to not keep to myself that which can be of benefit to others. It is my ongoing experience that connection is a greatly needed antidote to the disconnection that is so prevalent in our culture and beyond. And this certainly holds true, not just for women, but for men as well, and for us all.

 

So while I will share some of my visions, inquires, and intentions related to this ceremony for women, the sacred thread connecting our ceremonial experiences with our larger experiences and needs as human beings struggling on this beautiful, hurting planet feels very relevant to me. And needed.

As I share here what came to and through me for this year's ceremony for women, I also hope that something here will be helpful to anyone coming upon this post. 

 

I also need to acknowledge that am deeply humbled by how it is that Mystery, Grace, God/Goddess, Great Mother, Creator works though us all as we are able to open our hearts and listen. We are all connected. And, as Thích Nhất Hạnh has wisely said, "We are here to awaken from the illusion of separation."

 

***

In reflecting on how Sacred space can be held for each woman in Ceremony, and especially now in these turbulent and challenging times, this Vision emerged:

  How can we, individually and together, create and find

Rest, Peace, Healing, and Strength in the Sacred Heart

of Ceremony, Community, Compassion, and Love?

Some Inquiries which may emerge from the Vision:

• How do we tend to our tender hearts in turbulent times?
• How do we hold both grief and gratitude?
• How do we find balance in the remembrance of beauty and blessings, joy and laughter, and connection, compassion, and love?
• How do we nurture and honor the Sacred Feminine within ourselves and others?
• How do we strengthen our capacity to be in the world fully embodied with our eyes and hearts increasingly open, connected with the web of life and strengthened by our spiritual and religious practices?
• How do we care for our precious selves and each other?
• How do we recognize and strengthen our gifts and ripen into the holy wholeness of who we truly are?
  

Some Intentions which may be held and connected within the Vision and Inquiries:

• Creating welcoming and safe space for all women
• Bringing needed balance to so much that is out of balance
• Strengthening our hearts and soulful connections
• Creating experiences which serve as healing antidotes for these turbulent times
• Nurturing consciousness of the deep medicine that we carry individually and together
• Deep listening and witnessing
• Laying the foundational roots for alchemy to occur, transforming more and more of our struggles individually and collectively into opportunities to grow in compassion, connection, wisdom, and fierce love

Woven through this ceremony is a recognition and honoring of the Four Directions, Mother Earth, Father Sky, and our Holy Sacred Hearts.

The 2022 Ceremony was also a time when we turned to the mysteries of the East Gate. It is an empowering and transformative gift to remember that in the middle of this time of collapse and great challenge and change, a new world is trying to birth Herself. 

As we seek to balance grief with gratitude, the gifts of the East come to us as blessing:

• The air we breathe.

• Beauty, spring, youth.
• For the spirit of the eagle and the strength of our vision
• Dawn, sunrise, birth, and new beginnings.
  
• Purification, healing, renewal.
  
• Curiosity and openness.
• Inspiration, instruction, and purpose.
  
• The opportunity to show up and be present
  

These could also be considered among the Sacred Gifts of the South that we recognize and give thanks for:

• The fire that warms us and gives us light
• The fire that is also within us that feeds and nourishes our passions
• For the spirit of the wolf and that of resilience, perseverance, courage
• For fertility, warmth, abundance
• For the power of nurturing ourselves and others
• For creativity, community and connection
• For summer and illumination
• For courage and for initiations that help us to grow and expand
• For the awareness we need to grow in balance and harmony
• For the invitation and opportunity to speak the truth without blame or judgment

The West:

• The healing waters within our bodies, the rivers and lakes, the great oceans
• For the spirit of the brown bear and making the journey inside to our deeper knowing and wisdom
• For fall and slowing down and the darkness that holds what it is that needs to be seen, integrated, healed, and transformed
• For teachings and dreams and introspection and mystery
• For letting go of limiting beliefs and holding true to our values
• For the humility that comes with maturity
• For the invitation and opportunity to deepen, to mature and evolve, and to listen to what has heart and meaning
• For healing and renewal

Sacred Gifts of the North:

• Our spiritual being and connection with Creator

• We honor and ask the Grandmothers, Ancestors to be with us
• We honor the spirits of the owl, the buffalo and the teachings of wisdom, insight, knowledge, clarity and compassion
• We give thanks for winter and for the season of integration, letting go, and regeneration
• We honor all who have come before us and ask that we may ever more deeply allow into our being the teachings and gifts that the lives of our ancestors offer us
• For the journey of learning to let go of what is not helpful and integrating into our being that which helps us to grow in our capacity to live open-heartedly and in alignment with our values
• We ask for the courage to hold the bones, the heart, the soul of our ancestral stories so that we may break old patterns, open to new possibilities, and grow in consciousness, integration, wisdom, compassion and love.
• We bow to the North in gratitude and honor for all that our Ancestors and Creator bring to us 
  
  
  

Every year there is calling forth and an honoring of our ancestors. Part of this is reflected in how the North Gate is adorned with photographs that each woman brings of our beloveds who have passed. This year I added both my mother and Judith Duerk.

 

These prayers follow the honoring of our ancestors and the sacred gifts of the North Gate...

Mother Earth

Mother Earth, we honor you. We give thanks for all of nature and all of creation, for our rootedness, and for our deep interconnection with all of our earthly relatives. We bow in the deepest gratitude for your many gifts and for life itself. As you give us life, we pray that we will stand in ever deeper protection of you, our Sacred Earth Mother and of all of life on Earth – the 1-leggeds, 2-leggeds, and 4-leggeds; the finned ones and the winged ones, the mountains and forests and oceans and beyond. Please help us to heal ourselves and to heal You. We bow in the deepest gratitude to you, our Mother.

Father Sky

Father Sky, we honor you. We thank you for healing rains and the warmth of the sun and the beauty of starlit skies. May we remember that we are stardust and that the light of stars, moon, sun and that which is at the center of the Earth is also us, is also who we are.

Our Sacred Hearts

Now we are here in the center, the Center of our Sacred Hearts. We bow to and hold our hearts. Our beautiful, tender-strong, wise hearts. Here rests our authenticity and our truth. Here we hold the joys and the sorrows of our lives and the world. Here we are connected with the sacred thread that weaves through all of life. We bow in gratitude and honor to our hearts. May we remember that our greatest strength lies in the gentleness and tenderness of our hearts.

Archetypes 

 

These are such difficult times. Because of our interconnection with all of life, it is my belief that we are all impacted — and whether we know it or not — by this great transition that we are experiencing at this time in our human history and the suffering of humans, other species, and our Sacred Earth Mother. 

 

All around us, what I also witness is a great deal of distortion of archetypal energies and forces. We can see among maidens, matrons, and elders in our culture and beyond — and of course in women and men alike — a great deal of disempowerment, despair, depression, disconnection, and more. And as one of my earliest teachers, Judith Duerk, has said, we have long been orphaned by the Great Mother. And the cost of this loss and imbalance can be felt and seen everywhere.

Each year at the Women of the 14th Moon Ceremony, different women are chosen to represent the Archetypes of Maiden, Maiden, or Elder. Each woman who has been honored with this invitation will often spend months in preparation. Then, during ceremony, she brings forth her vision of the collective experience of that archetype — during the honoring of maidens, matrons, or elders — and enters the ceremonial arbor with a sacred dance or soulful representation of that archetype.

What comes to me regarding the archetypes in this ceremony for women is a vision of the antidote to the shadow side of so much that we see and experience in our world. These are represented in the deep strengths, truth, wisdom, power, and love held in the Archetypes of Maiden, Matron/Mother, Crone/Elder. Yes, there is this darkness seemingly without end. And much despair. AND there is also this new world trying to birth Herself. 

In this way, bringing forth the Maiden, Matron, and Elder Archetypes can be a deeply moving and transformative experience where we witness and absorb the potential positive archetypal energies and wisdom — of strength and beauty, resilience and courage, hope and healing, truth and authenticity, imagination and creativity, compassion and kindness, and growing consciousness and love. This experience can trigger in us a deeper awareness and remembrance of the truth who we most deeply are and the values we most need to embody in our journeys through our lifetimes. 

My beloved husband helped me to create and birth this mask, which I wore several years ago after being invited to bring forth the Archetype of the Elder

Poems

 

There were several poems which I was inspired to share during different parts of this year's ceremony.

• The Feminine Is Here by Chelan Harkin: https://mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2022/08/chelan-harkin-feminine-is-here.html
• I Am a Woman Bathing in the Bliss of the Company of Other Women by Janet Quinn: https://mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2022/10/janet-quinn-i-am-woman-bathing-in-bliss.html
• Won't You Be My Sister by Amanda Gorman: https://mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2022/08/amanda-gorman-wont-you-be-my-sister.html
• I Am a Woman Finding My Voice by Janet Quinn: https://mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2022/08/janet-f-quinn-i-am-woman-finding-my.html
• For a New Beginning by John O'Donohue: https://mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2022/08/john-odonohue-for-new-beginning.html
• For Old Age by John O'Donohue: https://mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2022/08/john-odonohue-for-old-age.html 
• Ancestral Treasure by Chelan Harkin: https://mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2022/08/chelan-harkin-ancestral-treasure.html
  

My beloved friend and soulful sister Olivia and I stand together at the North Gate at the end of the 2022 ceremony. Olivia was my helper this year. I am deeply grateful.

In Gratitude

 

We all experience many seasons in our lives. 

 

There was a time in my life when I felt very disconnected, disassociated, distracted, alone. For many years I tried to distance myself from women and preferred to feel aligned with men. I'd absorbed the misogyny of our culture, experienced the rejection and trauma of a deeply wounded mother, and, unknowingly, did not begin to know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone, including myself. Any concept of a "divine feminine" anything would have been totally lost on me.

The disconnection and experience of being out of balance that I suffered for many years when I was younger was also a reflection of our culture at large. I mirrored the pain and inner isolation, the anxiety and depression, the addictions and harmful beliefs of our society that continue to be so prevalent today.

In bringing forth the wisdom and gifts of the ceremony for women that I've been a part of for over twenty years, it is my hope that something here will speak to others in some way which enlivens, reconnects, nourishes, and feeds your heart and soul.

The Women of the 14th Moon has blessed me and countless other women deeply. I will be forever grateful. 

 

And this ceremony is not for everyone. Rather it is instead just one resource out of countless others that can support us in the strengthening of our hearts and an ever deepening connection with the wholeness of our holy sacred selves and the sacred with dwells in all of life.

I need to bow in gratitude to my sister Olivia Oso for being my assistant as Intercessor at this year's ceremony. And I need to bow to all the elders and ancestors who have come before us on whose shoulders we now stand.

 

There is also the sweetness of connection with other women, a rebalancing and powerful connection which is so needed in our society. We are all sisters, all related, all family.

And there is the sacred thread which William Stafford speaks of so eloquently in his poem The Way It Is. My hope and dream is that each of us finds our thread and follows it to where we need to journey in our lifetimes, learning to hold grief and gratitude, embracing truth and authenticity, opening to transforming disconnections into holy connections, and finding what it is that will bless us with feeding the true needs of our individual and collective hearts and souls.

With gratitude, blessings, and love,

Molly