Saturday, January 31, 2015

Reflections On Self-Compassion


Ron and I returned a while ago from a day long retreat which was led by Doug Pullin - http://www.portlandinsight.org/node/7 - and which focused on self-compassion. It was wonderful.

What a gift to find ourselves in a lovely space - actually where Ron and I were married 16 months ago - with others who were engaged in exploring deeper layers of experience, what it is that we hold in our hearts and minds, and how we might grow in compassion and lovingkindness. It is so heartening to be immersed in a shared community experience where we could bring our woundedness and our healing, our fears and our courage, our struggles and our strengths, our suffering and our compassion.

So often in our families and culture we hear that it is a drink that will help, or going shopping, or staying busy, and on and on. It is often not "normal" in America to be invited to actually connect in a deeper, more authentic way with ourselves and those in our lives. Yet, there are these spaces which are created within ourselves and many in our midst where there is greater opening, awareness, honesty, bravery, caring and compassion. I imagine a world where this is the "new normal."


May all beings be safe.
May we be at peace.
May we be courageous and kind.
May we know the beauty of our true nature. 
May we be our authentic selves.
May we know the heart of compassion 
 and love as our deepest truth.
 May we be happy. 

Namaste ~ Molly

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The below is the description of the retreat Ron and I were gifted with participating in today. May you find all that most nourishes your heart, mind, body, spirit, and soul...

Self-Compassion Day Long Retreat 

Saturday January 31st, from 10 am to 4 pm at PIMC, lead by Doug PullinSelf-compassion can be cultivated. It's a courageous attitude that stands up to harm, including the harm that we inflict on ourselves through self-criticism, self-denial, or self-absorption. Self-compassion provides emotional strength and resilience, allowing us to admit our shortcomings, forgive ourselves, motivate ourselves with kindness, care for others, and be fully human.


According to the work of Kristin Neff, the three key components of self-compassion are self-kindness, a sense of common humanity, and balanced, mindful awareness. Kindness opens our hearts to suffering, so we can give ourselves what we need. Common humanity opens us to others, so that we know we aren't alone. Mindfulness opens us to the present moment, so we can accept our experience with greater ease. Together they comprise a state of warm, connected, presence during difficult moments in our lives.
During this day together we will do meditation practices that cultivate mindfulness, kindness and a sense of our shared humanity. We will practice using the experience of self judgment and self depreciation as a gateway to cultivate compassion for self. We will use mindfulness to:
  • Free us from believing the self depreciating mind that reifies self and then negatively judges it. 
  • Recognize all emotions are expressions of need.
  • Recognize, allow, investigate, and non identify with shame based emotional experiences
  • Re-contextualize/re-story life in the context of compassion.
This day of meditation will include periods of sitting, walking and movement meditation. There will also be a Dharma talk and opportunity for personal sharing.

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