Yesterday, I was working with a client who said something I think many feel: "I don't like spending time with my family because I get to see the worst of me and I know they see it too." Yes, family can bring out aspects of self we think we've managed to get rid of or heal or rise above. There's an old joke- Think you're spiritually enlightened? Spend a weekend with your family! It's sometimes not the shadow of family members we dread most (although sometimes that is NOT fun) - but our own shadow aspects that come to the fore that are hardest to hold with love & tenderness. Suddenly, without noticing, we slip back into being The Pleaser, The Teaser, The Judgemental One. . . . or waves of grief or anger or sorrow for what is not come over us. Here's what I do know: If we can see & hold those aspects of self we want to banish with tenderness & forgiveness, it becomes easier to do so with others- yes, even family. Of course, that does not mean that healthy boundaries are not important- they are! (Hard to forgive if we are putting ourselves where we will be hit again and again.) May we see & forgive the yet-to-be-healed in ourselves & others. ~Oriah
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