Ron and me with my mother, June 5th, 2020 |
Yesterday
we celebrated my mother’s birthday. So amazing that my mom is 94!
When
Ron and I first arrived, my mother was awake and dressed and sitting
in her recliner. She also was initially in this place of staring
vacantly and remaining expressionless when we greeted her. I didn’t
know if she’d shift into some degree of awareness, lucidity, and
presence or not. Every day when I come, I’m always without
expectations and simply surrendered into whatever space my mother is
in and the deep consciousness of the need to extend my tenderness,
acceptance, and love unconditionally.
Gratefully,
my mom gradually came back more into her body and heart and was able
to receive and experience some of our moments together. When asked
how she’s doing today, she also responded “sleepy.” Even the
simplest responses are such a gift now.
There
were also video calls with great-grandkids and all three of her
grandsons and Kevin’s Arlyne. Everyone sang happy birthday. And
little 2 year old Eleanor said loudly, “Hi! Hi!” So sweet. And so
precious to be together as four generations.
This
is the last birthday for my mama and for us to gather generationally
as we did this June 5th. Because of her decline, this was also a very
different celebration than previous years. That said, it’s a
miracle that my mother is still here.
An
integral and vital part of this miracle — and which is absolutely
why she has lived this long — is rooted in the deeper truth of how
over the past seven years my mother has been able to receive the
experience of being immersed in the love of family. Given the
severity of a mental illness which had compelled her to push away
love throughout her adult life, this is the most extraordinary
miracle of all.
Again
and again I return to this eternal gratitude for the love that is at
the heart of our family and all the exquisite gifts that my mama and
I and all of us have shared together. The power of this love and
grace shall always live on within our hearts and souls. Blessed be.
Molly
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