An Evening With My Mother

My mother and me, January 18th, 2010

My mother had such a good night tonight. She was awake and had moments of lucidity and smiles and kisses, gazing into one another’s eyes, calling me her “sweet darling,” and lots and lots of love. I am so grateful.

Several days ago my mom was switched to a pureed food diet due to later stage Alzheimer’s and difficulty with chewing, swallowing, and pocketing food. And it’s working so well! Tonight she ate 100% of her dinner and in less than an hour! Yay!

Even the smallest things are big and mean so much.

And after dinner we sat for a while in the lobby of her assisted living by the fireplace. We mostly sat in silence holding hands. My mother doesn’t speak very much now. But at one point Mom said, “You must be bored.” And every time the unworthy voices pop up is always the perfect opportunity to again and again and again tenderly remind my mother that she is loved. “Oh Mom. I’m with you and there’s not any place I’d rather be. My heart is happy whenever we are together.” And then I love to watch the smile sweep across my mom’s face.

And especially because my mother was not able to let love into her heart until over the past nearly seven years. That’s when treatment for her mental illness and replacing alcohol with antipsychotic medication and deep and abiding compassion and love enabled her to finally bust out of the prison that had held her heart captive for 87 years.

I never know day by day how my mother will be doing or even if there will be a tomorrow for her. But tonight was good. Tonight was wonderful. Tonight was such a gift for us both. ❤ Molly