Reflections On Blame and A Larger Picture

 Weigh the true advantages of forgiveness and 

resentment to the heart. Then choose. 

— Jack Kornfield 

Over the years I have gradually learned that blame is something which is not helpful. Ever. Blame can keep us stuck in beating up on others or ourselves. It can keep us stuck in our anger and bitterness, our judgments and justifications, our resentments and rejections. The energy of blame can eat away at our hearts and fuel the polarities of us versus them. Blame can make us, our families and communities, and our society sick. And it can keep us stuck in the smaller picture. 

There is a larger picture. 

Whenever we become mindful of projecting blame onto anyone, including ourselves, there is also this invitation, this opportunity, to look deeply into what and who we are blaming. And why. We can choose to use this experience to begin a process, or to deepen our practice, of looking under the surface into what is triggering this blaming and shaming and we can choose to explore the deeper layers of what is happening.

Many of us like to think of ourselves as kind people. Yet, in looking more honestly into the truth of our inner worlds, we can often discover that there is an *, an asterisk, afterwards which consciously or unconsciously places limits on the reality of our circle of caring and kindness. Our circles may be very small and include only those who are most like us. Or they can be expansive and inclusive and extend ultimately to include a great deal of diversity and more and more of life on Earth.

What does your circle of caring look like? What is your relationship with and capacity for forgiveness, compassion, and healing the obstacles in your heart that limit the way you extend kindness to yourself and others?

Something to consider. 

I have found this process of going deeper and deeper into my own heart and mind incredibly healing, illuminating, and transformative. It is also true that it is hard work — this process of recognizing and healing our limitations and awakening into our greater wholeness. And it is the only way that I have found to befriend ourselves and understand our lives and all that we encounter along the way.

May we all find the supports and healing and wisdom we need to react less and less out of blame. May we instead become mindful of when blaming shows up for us, choose to intervene, and respond increasingly out of the wisdom and compassion of our hearts. I believe our world will change as we heal ourselves and embrace a larger picture. 

Peace is possible. And it begins with each of us.

Bless us all on our journeys,

Molly

❤

When we hold on to our opinions with aggression, no matter how valid our cause, we are simply adding more aggression to the planet, and violence and pain increase. Cultivating nonaggression is cultivating peace. 

 — Pema Chödrön