The Root Cause of Trauma and Why You Feel Lost In Life | Dr. Gabor Maté & Jay Shetty

This is such an excellent interview. 

For many years now I have been on a journey of discovery and deep research into what was missing from my first decades into sobriety and attempts to heal childhood trauma. How might my journey have looked different from my experiences in those first many years of so passionately seeking to break the generational cycles of pain and trauma for myself and my children? 

Today I hold many of those answers. And I am consistently gaining more and more significant pieces and insights into what was missing. I also humbly recognize that this is a lifelong process of awakening from our illusions and healing and transforming the generational and cultural wounds that we have absorbed. 

As I have also written and shared many times, IFS (Internal Family Systems) has illuminated so much of what I needed and my family needed but did not receive. There is no blame or shame here ― just noticing and gaining the much needed wisdom, compassion, empowerment, and transformative awareness and tools that I have long sought. This is certainly not the only, but among the many resources and practices which have been profoundly helpful for me.

Gabor Maté is also among my many treasured teachers. His knowledge, wisdom, and personal experience illuminates important aspects of what had been missing on my healing journey. Here is reflected yet again more of the evolution that I personally experience as being vital to more deeply and effectively understanding, addressing, healing, and transforming trauma. Without this growth and evolution in addressing trauma and its roots, it is my belief that we will inevitably continue to see the pervasive epidemics in addiction, depression, anxiety, illness, violence, and all of the many faces of unaddressed generational and cultural trauma which plague us today. 

In all of this, there are personal to global implications.

All of this said, I also recognize and affirm that, as Matthew Fox has wisely stated, there are "many wells, one River." Whatever our journey, hopefully our path is leading us into greater and greater compassion and love for ourselves and all beings. And hopefully we are more strongly and consistently connected with our Sacred core and essence. 

I absolutely do believe that we humans possess the capacity for radical change ― and especially given how it is today that I am able to recognize more clearly our true and deepest nature as human beings. We embody the potential individually and collectively to become increasingly conscious and empowered, wise and whole, and compassionate and loving. And this is especially true as we lean into the needed evolution in our thinking, in our responding to pain and trauma, and in our capacity to heal and open our hearts. Humanity will evolve as we are more greatly empowered to embody the wisdom and strength, beauty and peace, compassion and love that is rooted in who we truly are.

Bless us all, no exceptions. 

― Molly

The Root Cause of Trauma and 

Why You Feel Lost

Today, I talk to Dr. Gabor Maté. A celebrated speaker and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics, such as addiction, stress, and childhood development. Dr. Maté has written several bestselling books, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction; When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress; and Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder. He is also the co-author of Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. His works have been published internationally in more than thirty languages. Dr. Maté generously shares his deep understanding of childhood trauma, vulnerability, grief, and emotional distress. He explains what real trauma is and how time doesn’t necessarily lead to healing, how vulnerability is ingrained in us since we are young and the importance of these formative years to mold our emotional health, and the societal expectations we always try to meet but have never truly given us real fulfillment. We also exchange thoughts on dealing with grief, how we struggle to identify with the people we look up to, and how childhood experience varies for every child even when they are raised in a similar environment. Trauma is a wound that has not fully healed which can be triggered at any point in our life, so it matters that we are able to find a common ground and stay firm in what can give us healing, emotional stability, and happiness. What We Discuss: 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:12 How do you define trauma? 00:06:32 How is healing defined? 00:08:45 Time itself does not heal emotional wounds 00:11:38 We are all born vulnerable 00:13:55 The inherent expectations we all have 00:20:00 The societal standards we try to live up to 00:25:15 It’s not possible to love kids too much 00:29:35 Grief is essential for life 00:32:19 When the past dominates the present reactions 00:35:16 There is no healthy identification 00:42:11 Why are we set on things staying the same 00:44:38 No two children have the same childhood 00:50:19 The difference between loneliness and being alone 00:53:54 How do you see human nature? 01:02:24 Suffering has to be acknowledged 01:06:27 Getting closure and start moving on 01:10:04 Spirituality becomes commoditized 01:15:56 Dr. Maté on Final Five

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTQJmkXC2EI