This is beautiful. So wisely and powerfully and compassionately said. Deep gratitude and thanks once again to David Bedrick.
I also deeply resonate. In the early years of my own journey of healing and transformation, I wanted to get rid of every new painful part of myself that I was unearthing.
I believed then that these places that I held in my heart, these places of my long unknown and unattended shadow were all part of what made me flawed, unworthy, and unlovable. My inner critic roared and was relentlessly shaming me. All the fingers of judgment that had been pointed outward onto others before I began my journey of awakening were now pointed at me. Very painful. And incredibly hard to live with so much shame.
Somewhere down the road everything began to shift. My therapist asked me again and again and again if I could hold myself with tenderness and compassion right where I was at in that very moment when shame would arise. And again and again and again that is what I did.
And eventually I came to recognize that this is the journey of love. The journey of opening to loving myself and others. The journey of cultivating the deepest compassion and empathy and kindness. The miraculous journey of becoming who I am. And seeing the beauty in others.
And, yes, always deepening my sense of what it means to love and be loved. 💗🙏 Molly
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| Photo by Molly: Sunset on the Oregon coast with my husband and our dog Shira |
I've been meditating on the word "healing" lately, concerned with the way it is used - too often pathologizing people, leaving them thinking they are broken or needing fixing.
I came across this post I wrote some years ago; I was moved to edit it and share it here:
I carry the wounds to psyche (psyche means soul) in my heart.
I feel them in my body.
They sit beside me in deep meditations and manifest in my relationships.
I feel their company when I am alone walking by the ocean.
In my twenties I hoped the right relationship and career would make them go away.
In my 30’s, it was meditation, acupuncture and therapy that focused my efforts on ridding myself of their pain and disruption.
In my 40's, I became clearer about my purpose in the world. I studied the law and began practicing as an attorney, focusing more on social justice. I learned that "my wounds" did not only belong to me.
In my 50's I learned to play, recovering some of the child-like freedom that also opened more creative doors. It eased the pain of my wounds, but morning after morning we still greeted each other; they hadn't left.
Now, in my 60’s our friendship has grown. I know them as also me, not some pathology to be removed, or cut out like a tumor.
They teach me when to hold on and when to let go, and what the nature of my gifts are and how to walk with Spirit.
And most importantly, they always deepen my sense of what it means to love and be loved.
— David Bedrick
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