There's an update that I need to give to this post: Yesterday, March 19th, I went back to the local Fred Meyer in Vancouver where I frequently shop at for the first time since the incidents described below occurred. And something had significantly changed. No longer somewhere off to the side where it would be unnoticed, there were now large signs posted at both entryways and between the two doors into the store. These signs could not be avoided and in large print it was stated that masks were mandatory inside the store. These signs were not placed in prominent positions where they absolutely could not be missed before I made my complaint to management. I did this. My small act did have an impact, as small acts by each and every one of us can make a difference.
All this said, I am aware that we also need so much more in our responses to the spread of any deadly global virus. Ultimately, and as one of my friends accurately illuminated, there will need to be government mandated laws — and with real teeth and consequences for violators — for enforcing masks, distancing, and all vital protocols needed to protect lives in the midst of any pandemic. Without these systemic massive collective changes in how we response, the preventable sicknesses and deaths, loss of jobs and economic collapse, and all the horrors will continue pandemic after pandemic. We simply must learn the lessons from COVID-19 that are so urgently needed and in the best interests of us all. — Molly
Consciously Choosing to Speak Up and
Commit Random Acts of Kindness
Several days ago I was entering our local Vancouver Washington Fred Meyer store (Kroger's) when I thought I noticed a woman in front of me without a mask. I walked quickly to catch up to her to discern if I'd been seeing things. But, no, there was this woman with a mask that was tucked down below her chin. She was perhaps 40, white with long brown hair, tall and slender, and dressed like she might have been upper middle class. I approached her. "I need to ask you to please pull up your mask." She glared at me with an arrogant smile. "No, thank you." I again asked, affirming that it is the law. She again stared her self-righteous f*@# you smile and responded, "It's not your responsibility." I looked deeply into her eyes and affirmed that it is the responsibility of us all to keep each other safe. "No, thank you." And she walked off.
For a moment I stood there, stunned. Then I walked right over to Customer Service and told the young clerk what had happened. He asked me to wait while he called someone to come help. A woman in her 40's appeared and I again shared what had happened with her. Then I pointed and we both looked at the maskless person standing in the distance over in produce. She was also looking back at us. The woman who came to help called someone else, perhaps in management, I'm not sure. And then, after she hung up, she told me that if I don't feel safe that I could order online and do curbside service.
Now I was more angry. I stated the obvious — I am not the problem, she is!, and again pointed to the maskless woman walking among other customers and employees. I also affirmed that this isn't just about me, this is about protecting all the shoppers and the workers at Fred Meyer. Ultimately I was told that while there is someone at the door ensuring that people entering wear masks, and handing out masks to anyone who doesn't have them, and that there was nothing that the store could do about the shoppers who were in the store who refuse to wear masks. I was incredulous. But it's the law!
I was fuming while I quickly purchased the few things I'd come for. Then, as I was heading towards the door to leave, there was another person walking with his mask down under his chin. He was perhaps in his mid-40's or early 50's, white, and heading towards other shoppers. I approached him and asked him to please wear his mask. He looked somewhat surprised, then said, "Oh, okay," and pulled his mask up.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be for my friends and family who live in areas of the country where there is little to no support for follow through with enforcing the CDC protocols and the laws in place to keep us safe from the deadly pandemic that has sickened and killed more people in the United States than anywhere else in the world. I can't truly imagine how traumatic it would be to enter a store and find it filled with mostly maskless people. I just know that I was outraged with my encounter with just this one woman whose ignorance, entitlement, and delusions caused her to feel justified in refusing to wear a mask and instead choose to blindly and actively endanger the very lives of other human beings.
And I wasn't done. The next day I called management at this Fred Meyer to lodge a formal complaint. I'd reviewed online the COVID-19 protocols that Fred Meyer has in place and knew that they had violated both their own policies and the law by not acting to enforce the mask mandate. My experience was initially minimized by the woman in management. She told me that the person may have had a medical issue, that they enforce wearing masks for all who enter the store and also hand out masks at the entrance, and I was again told that I could shop online and do curbside pickup if I don't feel safe.
I was outraged. This isn't just about me! This is about the safety of your store employees, about everyone who shops at your store, and about enforcing your own store policies and the law. I was upset and clearly let the woman know that this was the first time that I'd filed any complaint in my nearly 50 years of shopping at Fred Meyer stores. And, finally, she began to hear me. There was an affirmation that people with medical issues making mask wearing difficult can be the ones doing the online shopping and curbside pickup. There was an apology. There was an acknowledgement that the store policies were not followed. There was a confirmation that they will act to not allow this kind of incident happen again.
I was emotionally exhausted and my heart so tender and raw... especially knowing that thousands will get sick today, many will become long-haulers, and many will die of the coronavirus. Yet, mine where just small actions. And I'll never know if what I did will keep one person from spreading COVID to another human being. I'll never know. That said, if even one life is spared the devastation of this deadly virus, it will have been more than worth it.
Random acts of kindness can take infinitely different forms.
* * * * *
This is just one example of what it might look like if the mandates to ensure the safety of the lives of ourselves and others was taken seriously. And this occurred to a woman in Texas who refused to wear a mask in a bank:
Just imagine if more and more instances of people actively causing harm to themselves and others were consistently met with acts of individual and collective caring, intervention, protection, courage, truth, integrity, and justice. Just imagine...
* * * * *
The grief and loss and trauma of living through a pandemic is so very hard for all of us to hold. Some are not able or willing to try to hold the traumatic truths of the pandemic we've been living with for over a year now. And for them it is inevitable that they will act in ways which perpetuate and increase the number of coronavirus cases and deaths.
There are too many ongoing heart-wrenching examples of this complicity with devastation and death. There are the declarations by the governors of states like Texas and Mississippi that the COVID restrictions are all lifted — as though, poof, the pandemic has now magically ended and the dangers gone. There are people traveling to vacation and party over spring break; and those same people who unknowingly contract the virus will then be taking it back to spread among countless other people from wherever they traveled from. There are states like Idaho having mask burning ceremonies and even asking their children to toss their masks into the fire. And meanwhile the ongoing polarizing propaganda that fuels the deadly lies that minimize or dismiss the dangers of COVID continue. And on and on...
What a horror show we're witnessing over and over and over again. It's like watching a category 5 hurricane heading towards land and knowing that in hours or days people who are alive right now will soon be critically injured or dead. The only difference — and it is a major one — is that we humans can act to slow and ultimately stop the spread of the coronavirus. But this won't happen if we don't adhere strictly to the CDC protocols, if we don't educate ourselves in-depth in an ongoing way and share what we are learning, and if we don't act and speak up to stand in protection of ourselves and each other.
At least this was true for me. In the face of that which threatens real lives with physical death or what some healthcare providers say is worse than death — in witnessing the extreme trauma and devastation that this virus brings to people and their loved ones — I had to do something. I'm not responsible for the outcome. My only responsibility is to do the right thing that is here right in front of me one day at a time.
And it can be the smallest acts which are not only random acts of kindness, but which also may even save lives.
We don't know the true power of the ripples we send out through the ways that we carry ourselves in the world. I just know that listening more deeply to our inner guidance and acting to simply do the right thing does make a difference. And we all can make a difference in our own ways. Just imagine if each of us listened more and more to that voice that guides us and makes clear what we can do to add to the caring, kindness, safety, and justice that we all need and hunger for. Just imagine...
Bless us all,
💗
Molly
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