"Thank you Layli for giving words to something I've been thinking about as the hate campaign to erase history, to foster racism, sexism, and cruelty of anyone who doesn't fall behind a fundamentalist line is in full swing. We have experienced this before. We recognize it. Any hatred is born of self hatred. Or the fear of facing oneself. This country was not empty when the first immigrants came ashore. Native peoples here have a presence, histories, stories, and knowledge that was here thousands and thousands of years before and will be here after. I keep being reminded that this period of colonization is small when you consider eternity. The impact, however is painful and real. As you say, Layli, we go forward with dignity, knowing who we are, and no manner of false story, lies, or cruel acts will change the facts. We must continue to carry and feed our stories of connection and compassion." — Joy Harjo
On the plane home today, I had a comforting thought. I remembered what my parents lived through... and what I lived through, already, in my own lifetime.
As for myself, I remembered that I was born in the 1900's! Yeah. I grew up in a time when people HATED Indians, especially in border towns. Their racism was not hidden, some people thought we were straight up drunks, dirty, dumb, and less then human. My friend and I were talking about this car wash in Farmington, NM. When we were kids, it was common knowledge that white high school boys used to go "roll the drunks" at the car wash for fun. I remember crazy moments... like getting jumped after school for "looking" at someone wrong. More over, the Religious Freedom Act for Native people wasn't even passed until AFTER I was born... imagine that! Native people lived on this land for thousands of years but we couldn't even PRAY in our own ways until the late 70's. For a long time, I internalized shame from this society until holding that shame was too exhausting... and I decided to be caring and accepting of myself... and I started educating myself. Finally, the cells in my body started coming together, I was whole. The racism didn't change, but I changed. And that was the difference.
As for my parents... my mom used to have friends of different racial/cultural backgrounds... they'd come to her house for dinner and what-not. One time the KKK came and burned a cross on her lawn, she still has a newspaper clipping of that.
For awhile, in the 70's, my dad was involved with the movement on Pine Ridge (AIM). And he got into some "good trouble," as they say, for those activities. And what did my parents do during those times? They were just themselves. It's like, what was going to happen to them? Were the racists going to make them stop believing in their values? Were my parents just going to CHANGE who they were because it was scary or unacceptable? No. They lived through those times, being who they were... and when all was said and done, after they faced consequences and backlash, they still continued living with their heads held high but also humble. They don't even really mention those days, they don't consider themselves anything special. Just like my generation lived through some ugly times too... I still remember the racism. I remember the sexism... back then, girls couldn't just be themselves. There were also pedophiles everywhere, sorry to say. Seemed like every time I turned around, someone was trying to touch me or my friends. Jeeeeez! So on the plane I realized that I have lived through these things already. Straight up racism, sexism, violence, bullying, predators, and so on. It was everywhere and so thick, I couldn't think straight sometimes. I couldn't even love myself, it was so toxic.
I have been so overwhelmed in the last month, especially. I felt so shocked and scared by what's happening that I almost felt afraid to post anything. Then I realized, WTF? This is nothing new, I've lived through this before. So why am I freaking out? I know how to be myself. I will continue being myself. My views and values should not be a shock to anyone. And if I get in trouble for it, oh well.
I stand for respect and love for people of all nationalities, cultures, colors, religions, sexual identity and genders, and so on. I stand for due process. I stand for safety of our children. I stand for respect for our land, the water, the beauty. I stand for the sovereignty of our Native nations. Fuck this racist, xenophobic crap that's going on. Corrupt white men running around with too much power and money is nothing new. At this stage, they all look the same... like Crusty the Clown. That's the thing... it's not that this country has changed. The problem is that it HASN'T changed. This is what I finally realized today, although I'm sure most of you already knew this. But for this reason, I can finally say for once, I know how this goes. I know what it's like to feel danger and walk forward anyway. This is not my first rodeo, as they say.
Also, I post this as my First Amendment right. That doesn't seem to hold much water these days. But oh well, that's on them, not me.
No comments:
Post a Comment