On this 45th anniversary of my twin's suicide, I am drawn to once again share this poem by Mary Oliver... one I deeply resonate with. While I remember my brother with such deep love, I also reflect on that summer day in June of 1975 when my first husband and I left everything we knew from our childhood and ancestral homes in Michigan and headed west, destination unknown.
At the time, I did not truly realize how I was moving away from my family of origin in order to save myself. And, significantly, I also reflect on the profound changes and grace which began to unfold in my life several years later as I rooted into a path of healing and awakening and never let go.
Sadly, many do not choose or are unable to choose and discover that doorway through which they will be blessed with a journey of deep and transformative healing and health and wholeness. Too many will remain estranged from the beauty of their true nature.
It is so important to not bring judgment to those who are not able to survive or thrive in cultures which are too often steeped in separateness, violence and cruelty, ignorance and unaddressed trauma.
May we remember to hold us all, wherever we are on our human journeys, with ever deepening understanding, compassion, caring, and kindness. 🙏💗 Molly
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.
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