So beautifully, compassionately, and wisely said.
Thank you, as always, David Bedrick.
💗🙏 Molly
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| Photo by Molly |
In the first of the 8 years that I taught for the University of Phoenix, I had several students criticize me in the end of semester teacher evaluation: "He seemed insecure and nervous at the beginning," they wrote.
I tried diligently to overcome my nervousness. I had a vision of a teacher, a leader, who was confident. I believed that being a "strong" teacher was to be less vulnerable (a sexist assumption actually - this kind of vulnerability is often called effeminate or "girlish" when exhibited by men in certain aspects of mainstream culture.)
Not being able to easily rid myself of my insecurities, I decided to be more transparent about myself.
"Does anyone else get nervous when they meet new people or when they first step out to speak in public?" I asked. Almost everyone nodded.
Our shared vulnerability and humanity built a bond of connection and trust, allowing the classes to go much deeper into debate and learning.
I became one of the most valued teachers; in fact, the University gave me more and more courses to teach because of the student evaluations. I taught classes in Clinical Interviewing, Diversity in Social Services, Critical Thinking and Ethics, Addictions and Dependencies, Conflict Resolution, Business Management, Statistics in the Social Sciences and more.
What changed? I never overcame my insecurities and vulnerabilities, but the students changed their perceptions. Instead of critiquing my nervousness on evaluations, they began praising my "authenticity."
It was a great lesson in UnShaming. Shame would have me try to overcome or marginalize all qualities that were criticized. UnShaming would have me own those qualities and bring out the beauty, power, and intelligence in unfolding them even further.
— David Bedrick
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