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| My son, Matthew, and his Brussels sprouts |
Certainly at the top of my list are our children and grandchildren. I also hold all children everywhere in my heart. ❤
And I love stories, our human stories that connect us with one another. And I love photography because pictures always tell a story...
We need to be sharing more of our stories! This helps us to chip away at the protective walls we've built around our hearts, at our isolation and illusions of separation, at our image management and pretenses and perfectionism, and at our unhealthy belief systems rooted in shame, fear, secret keeping (sometimes generational secrets), and terminal uniqueness. Breaking the don't talk, don't trust, don't feel rules that I grew up with, and that are so pervasive in our culture, has been a vital part of my coming alive and getting to be me and not the pretend me. Yay!
I also treasure sobriety ― my 33 years, my son Matt's 18 months, and that of so many I know and love. Three decades ago I read When Society Becomes An Addict by Anne Wilson Schaef and realized that Oh!, I'm not alone! And that was when some of my shame and terminal uniqueness first began to go out the window.
Anything that takes us out of our hearts in a consistent way is an addiction. The antidote is initially just mustering up all the courage and support we can to begin to recognize what is happening. That is when Grace and synchronicities, teachers and mentors, and new pathways and doorways start to appear and open.
Deep bow to all who help us to see, to feel, to be. Among them for me was one of my earliest therapists who told me, "Molly, you could be addicted to standing on your head." And he was right! I was quite invested in maintaining a look good appearance while unconsciously being a connoisseur of just about anything that would keep me up in my head and out of my heart.
Wow! Has life ever changed since then! Deep, deep bow of gratitude!
And I get to have moments like I did this afternoon with my son Matt, who gives me permission to share these little tidbits of our story today...
Mind you, I do not love Brussels sprouts. I actually have Brussels sprout trauma from the days in my childhood when I was forced to eat them. I tried to sneak them one by one into my napkin and quietly deposit them in the waste basket after dinner, which only worked sometimes. What a surprise to find that my youngest son loves them. And, then again, not a surprise. Because Matt is changing and more and more of him is showing up. What a treat and adventure to witness!
In Matthew's previous life, the one mired in addiction, he was a devoted meat-eating guy. He chided his older brother, Kevin, for being vegetarian. So while Matt was very attached to his meat-eating manly image, Kevin and I were going in the opposite direction and no longer eating anything with a face.
My diet has completely shifted in sobriety, especially over the past decade. And even though I used to feed my three sons fish sticks and canned beans and hamburger helper for dinner, none of them (or me) eat that way today! Yay!
Then Matt tells me today, without even a smile of irony on his face, "I think I'm going to try a plant-based diet for a month." WHAT??!! I look at Matt. I pause. I ask, "You mean you might try being.... Vegan?" ... Matthew responds, "Yes, I guess you'd call it that."
I haven't laughed that loud since, well, a while. I was almost rolling on the floor. Then Matt brings out the Brussels sprouts he's bought. And I captured this picture.
I love my kids. I love stories. I love sobriety and all the many faces it shows up as. And I love this story of my sober son and his Brussels sprouts... the story of Mr. Brussels Sprouts Man.
❤
May we all find that which brings us adventure and
curiosity and meaning and laughter and love and joy!
― Molly
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| With my 3 sons, Kevin, Matt, and Brian, on my wedding day 4 years ago |
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