Parker Palmer and Gregory Orr: One of the Places Where the Beloved Is Born

This is such a beautiful reflection from Parker Palmer and poem from Gregory Orr. A wise and loving gift to us all. So many of us have experienced great challenges and losses in our lives. Parker Palmer shared that poet Gregory Orr killed his brother in a hunting accident when he was 12. My story includes growing up with a severely mentally ill and dangerous mother who was incapable of love and compassion (or so it strongly appeared throughout most of our lives), the sudden death of my father when he was 60 and I was 24, and the suicide of my twin brother and only sibling two years later which I knew would happen when the kindness of our father was gone. John could no longer bear not being loved by our mother and the despair of not feeling lovable himself. I was addicted and profoundly lost. Then I gradually began to dismantle the walls I’d built around my heart and recognize, understand, and absorb the great teaching that each time we allow our hearts to break open more space is cleared for love. Grief and gratitude are so often woven together. Deep bow of gratitude for this beautiful sharing and poem. For those who’ve been through so much, it can be deeply healing and transformative and life saving. Finding meaning in our suffering makes all the difference. I also went on to work for 30 years with children and families and was able to utilize all my life experiences in this work. And, miracle of all miracles, my mother had a breakdown at age 86 which forced her to be hospitalized and ultimately be treated for her mental illness, including being prescribed strong antipsychotic medication, and has experienced her own partial awakening. We’ve been able to have a mutually loving relationship over the past nearly five years that all had told me was completely impossible. Miracles happen. ― Molly

Parker J. Palmer writes:

Finding meaning in hard experience is one of the most vital challenges we face. Here's a brief but potent poem by Gregory Orr about heartbreak & the gifts hidden in it.

Who hasn't known heartbreak? There's the child who suffers from bullying, the young adult who suffers from unrequited love, the man or woman in midlife who sees a marriage or a career fail, the elder who endures the deaths of loved ones, the citizen who sees democracy's values under assault.

Orr—whose own experience of heartbreak often shows up in his poetry—reminds us that loss can allow us to know beauty, and give and receive love, more fully than we could before our hearts were broken open. May it be so for all who are brokenhearted right now... 

Some Say You're Lucky

Some say you're lucky

If nothing shatters it.

But then you wouldn't 

Understand poems or songs. 

You'd never know

Beauty comes from loss.

It's deep inside every person:

A tear tinier

Than a pearl or thorn.

It's one of the places

Where the beloved is born.

― Gregory Orr