Afterthoughts: How to Survive an Authoritarian Regime (In 10 easy steps!)

Photo by Takeo Kunishima, Creative Commons Licensing.

by Jay Burns

 

Good morning, America. Let’s talk.

So, this is really happening. Have a good cry.

Seriously. Go howl at the moon, whatever you need to do. And when you’re ready, come back and let’s have a grown up talk.

So, you’re in shock. I get that. You’re waking up and realizing it wasn’t just a bad dream. That the man Jon Stewart called Fuckface von Clownstick is about to become the 45th President of the United States.

Not that funny, anymore, is it? That’s one of dozens of things you’re going to mourn the loss of today. And it’s going to hit you in waves.

Pre-existing conditions? They’ll be back in January. Merrick Garland? He’ll never sit on the Supreme Court, and will forever be known as the guy waiting in the wings. Yes, Mitch McConnell’s petulance won him the Supreme Court. Take that in.

Gay Marriage? I don’t know. I honestly don’t. How do you undo a legal marriage?

And let’s remember, that went through on Scalia’s watch, so maybe that’s safe. But Pence’s religious freedom law? That party’s going national.

Consider abortion on the table. I’m not joking.

I’m not telling you all this to demoralize you. Quite the opposite. There’s work to be done.

It’s true: the lunatics have taken over the asylum. Panic is natural. It’s a lot. Take a breath.

Good?

Okay. Imagine we’re in a locker room, and our team just took a beating. Heads are hung low. I’m wearing a windbreaker with my last name on it. I have a clipboard. Here’s my pep talk:

1. You’re not moving to Canada. Just… enough with that already. This is America’s hour of need, and you’re not leaving. Wipe your tears, put your big kid pants on and get your mind organized. We need you in the game, now more than ever.

2. Learn what kind of lunatics you’re dealing with. Authoritarianism is Trump in a nutshell: mistrust of immigrants, propaganda loose on facts and strong on promises. Too-easy solutions and emotion over reason. Putin is authoritarian, with a well-honed propaganda machine. He invades sovereign nations, restricts freedoms, jails his enemies, and enjoys a comfortable majority support. It’s time now to stop dismissing the orange man and start understanding how authoritarian regimes happen, and how to survive them. Read up.

3. It’s hard, but take accountability for your part in this. Every conspiracy-theorist relative unfriended, every political talk avoided for fear of drama reinforced the bubble of a Trump voter. The media, in general, doesn’t challenge their thinking. They merely report on the spectacle. So if you don’t engage, the only voices they will hear will be inside the Trump propaganda machine. It’s time to become political. Cultivate a respectful but firm approach to a political conversation.

4. Reject snark and bitterness. It’s tempting, I know. But you’re an ambassador now. Go make a friend outside of your comfort zone. Find common ground, and slowly pierce the bubble. Make civil discourse sexy again. Tyranny is the deliberate removal of nuance. You, my friend, need to bring the nuance.

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