WRITTEN BY KATIE HINTZ-ZAMBRANO
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| PHOTOGRAPHED BY JAMES KICINSKI-MCCOY |
We all want our kids to be happy. And happiness is something the Danes have supposedly figured out, with research consistently showing that residents of Denmark are among the happiest in the world. So, it’s not a huge surprise that an article we published on Danish parenting tips has proved to be one of our most-read. Due to this popularity, we decided to do a deep-dive into some of the bigger philosophies rooted in Danish culture with The Danish Way of Parenting authors Jessica Alexander and psychotherapist Iben Sandahl leading the way. Here, we talk to them about the Danes’ belief in the power of play.
Modern parents get a lot of flack for over-scheduling their kids. What’s your take on that?
“These days it almost feels like you are depriving your kids by not enrolling them in myriad courses: baby yoga, swimming, tennis, piano, Spanish, organic cupcake making, tee ball, and so on. I think most parents can relate to that deep-seated feeling of ‘Am I doing enough?’ when they hear what other kids are ‘taking’ in their spare time. The question we might ask is: Who are we doing this for? Are we doing it for our kids’ internal development or because we feel pressured as parents to do it? Sometimes, it’s the more ‘educated’ parents that feel more pressure to develop their kids as a subtle sign of their own success. But what if something as simple as play were actually the most educated choice of all?”
“These days it almost feels like you are depriving your kids by not enrolling them in myriad courses: baby yoga, swimming, tennis, piano, Spanish, organic cupcake making, tee ball, and so on. I think most parents can relate to that deep-seated feeling of ‘Am I doing enough?’ when they hear what other kids are ‘taking’ in their spare time. The question we might ask is: Who are we doing this for? Are we doing it for our kids’ internal development or because we feel pressured as parents to do it? Sometimes, it’s the more ‘educated’ parents that feel more pressure to develop their kids as a subtle sign of their own success. But what if something as simple as play were actually the most educated choice of all?”
Tell us how the importance of play is stressed in Denmark.
“From the dawn of the first educational theory in Denmark in 1871, play has been seen as crucial—not optional—to a child’s development. Even now, children up until the age of 10 leave regular school to go to something called ‘free time school’ where they are encouraged to play. This is incredible if you think about it! Danes feel play is so fundamental to building the ‘whole child’ that all the Danish parents we interviewed for our book found the idea of excessive focus on ‘developing’ children quite odd. As they see it, if children are always performing to obtain something—good grades, awards, or praise from teachers or parents—then how do they learn to develop their true inner drive?”
“From the dawn of the first educational theory in Denmark in 1871, play has been seen as crucial—not optional—to a child’s development. Even now, children up until the age of 10 leave regular school to go to something called ‘free time school’ where they are encouraged to play. This is incredible if you think about it! Danes feel play is so fundamental to building the ‘whole child’ that all the Danish parents we interviewed for our book found the idea of excessive focus on ‘developing’ children quite odd. As they see it, if children are always performing to obtain something—good grades, awards, or praise from teachers or parents—then how do they learn to develop their true inner drive?”
Please continue this article here: http://www.mothermag.com/play-based-parenting/
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