Monday, February 16, 2015

Personal Reflections on the Harm Caused by Byron Katie, David Hawkins, and Others to Vulnerable People - Part II


The Perilous Journey of Healing Our Hearts
 

Below are excerpts and examples related to harm caused to vulnerable people by past and currently popular teachers/healers/authors that I referenced in my first post on this topic, which can be found here: http://mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2015/02/personal-reflections-on-harm-caused-by_16.html. I share the below with the full acknowledgement and humility that this is indeed a tiny glimpse into countless individuals who have fallen somewhere on this continuum of those who proclaim to be awakened and evolved while simultaneously throwing up road blocks and detours to more deeply opening and healing our hearts. 

It is not uncommon for teachers, gurus, therapists, authors, religious leaders, and other "healers" who have not done their own inner work to demonstrate charm that draws in anywhere from small to quite large numbers of followers. They are also in some way likely to trigger, often subtly and without our realization, the familiarity of past childhood experiences which were lacking in empathy and compassion, in healthy boundaries, and in support for our emotional worlds and deeper spiritual needs. In addition, their work may hold pieces of truth and spiritual meaning that obscure the deeper reality of harm that is occurring that is potentially crippling rather than authentically empowering. 

This dark side that is interwoven through such teachings and belief systems can be deeply toxic and dangerous. I certainly found this to be true when I read in one of Byron Katie's books a complete invalidation of a sexual abuse survivor's experience. I also found this to be true three books into David Hawkin's writings when he proclaimed the very high consciousness and spiritual ratings of the Iraq War, Fox News, country music, and himself. These are but two examples in a sea of countless others.

There are many whose books line the shelves of spiritual bookshops, whose preaching fills huge churches, whose promises have drawn millions of votes, etc., etc. -- all while there exits an absence or lacking of true integrity, compassion, caring, kindness, and authentic connection to a higher good. It is my belief that I am not unique and that most of us fall somewhere on a continuum of vulnerability to being drawn in, to projecting our own unresolved wounds, to being blinded by what appears to be the answer, the enlightened one, the individual who will make it all better. Only our blind spots to false charm, promises, and teachings ends up wounding us by leading us further from our hearts and our deeper selves rather than empowering us to be more awake, conscious, compassionate, and loving.

I am moved to speak to the harm we expose ourselves to when we dismiss our own instincts, our own authentic power and inner knowing, our own experiences and deepest needs because I have done a great deal of this in my lifetime. I have been vulnerable, I have looked for ways to bypass the sorrows in my heart and instead go straight to joy and awakening, I have been drawn to some individuals because of their similarity to that which is familiar in the ways I have been traumatized and not been seen in the past. To the degree that I acted out of my woundedness and vulnerability to "healers" who caused more harm than good, generational patterns of the past were continued in the present and my family, my children, myself and others I care about have all deeply suffered. Many of us can be vulnerable to the power of transference, to giving our power away, to unconsciously projecting onto someone else and acting out that which remains unhealed in our own hearts. It is my hope that by illuminating this suffering that more suffering can be prevented.

I also share this because I have found a path out of victimization and retraumatization by unwell people who falsely believe themselves to hold great spiritual truths and wisdom while in reality they perpetuate the suffering that is inherent in distancing ourselves from the depths of our own hearts. No one can help us go deeper than they have first gone themselves. In the desire to heal our hearts and increasingly open to our true nature, I have found it very wise to pay attention, to listen, to discern what holds heart and meaning on this perilous and yet amazing journey of the heart that we share.

 

May we be at peace.
May our hearts remain open.
May we know the beauty of our true nature.
May we be healed.
 

        With heartfelt blessings ~ Molly 

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Below are excerpts that offer examples and just a small glimpse into what I have spoken to. My hope is that this may be helpful in some way and perhaps move more of us to share what we have experienced and are learning. We are all connected.  Blessed be.

 

  Byron Katie

The Work of Byron Katie Could Accidentally Cause Problems In Psychologically Vulnerable People

http://www.new-synapse.com/aps/wordpress/?p=296

Crazy-Making. The invalidation of everything coming out of the person’s mouth with no distinction at all being made between liberating stories and harmful beliefs is not that different from crazy-making people out there (parents, cops, lawyers, judges, social workers, psychiatrists, husbands etc.) who discount a trauma sufferer’s actual experiences. (I know some people lie but many more are telling the truth). Discounting an experienced truth is one of the most harmful things anyone can do to someone who has suffered trauma. Byron Katie is unknowingly pulling the person apart and away from the truth of their experience when what they really need is to be taught how go deeper inside and “be” completely present, as their own resource, with the truth of their experience. This approach could increase dissociative tendencies (-), increase self-doubt (-), reduce their ability to be their own resource (-), and make it harder for them to build inner strength (-).

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“I’ve been in counseling ever since I got out of that mess, and I’m happy to report that I no longer wake up doing the work. I no longer blame myself for everything that happens to me, and force myself to pretend that I’m happy and peaceful about it. I no longer claim that I don’t understand it, but I only know that it helped me… it totally messed my life up… and I didn’t even realize how badly until I’d been free of it for several months. I finally “woke up”… and realized… I’d been sleep walking through that weird world of Byron Katie for too long."(article where this comment was found) 

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4. Lack of Humanness and Empathy

And this brings me to the third issue. The Work of Byron Katie seems to lack humanness. It seems to lack natural feelings of empathy and compassion (-) for a person who is not getting a universal human need met.Empathy connects us to each other. Part of our humanity is the ability to feel what another is feeling and to empathize with them. In fact, I would say that the development of empathy is pretty important for our growth and evolution. If one leaves with more empathy than they came in with, I would count that life as a successful human journey.

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- Mentally Ill? And the last issue I will bring up in this article is this concern that Katie may still suffer from some kind of mental illness. I do not have enough information to form an opinion, but one thing I know is that to not exhibit any real, deep empathy for fellow human beings is – well, it’s a symptom of a number of mental illnesses. People who love The Work may protest that Katie shows empathy all the time, and spends countless hours trying to relieve people’s suffering. But is it a true, deeply felt empathy? Does she feel empathy for the person who begins to doubt their thoughts and truth so much after doing The Work that they become dissociative and confused? Does she feel empathy for people who are being treated with cruelty and don’t have enough willpower to leave the situation? Does she take action from a feeling of empathy or is her empathy void of any real action? For example, if a friend was in an accident, would Byron Katie be the one to buy them food every couple days? I don’t have the answers on these questions, I don’t know enough about Byron Katie, I’m just asking questions. I’ll leave you with this great quote about a narcissistic person:
 She had “intellectual” empathy: almost as if she knew she should react that way. She didn’t feel it at the soul/being level. She knew the words, but couldn’t hear the emotional music of our relationship. ” (link )

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A Critique of Byron Katie and her Therapeutic Technique The Work

http://mortentolboll.weebly.com/a-critique-of-byron-katie-and-her-therapeutic-technique-the-work.html

Many former Katie devotees have been in counseling for years in order to remove this way of confused thinking. ----------------------

Here is an example of Katie´s use of the turnaround technique. On page 35, of Losing the Moon, Byron Katie starts talking about Nazi's taking babies from Jewish mothers and throwing the babies into a fire-pit near the end of WWII. 

Quote: 

If Someone (God, ‘what is’), pulls my baby from me - if that's what it takes, I'm there. Take the baby. Tear my baby from me. Throw it in the fire....My discomfort is my war with God. [...] 

You see, there are NO choices. What is, is. [...] 

But when we get to the baby thing, we're getting down to our sacred little concepts now....You take my baby from me, you're messing with the illusion of I'm the mommy, this is the baby, there's the daddy... 

 But tearing the baby away- that's the higher. That's the higher, because it snatches your story from you and makes it apparent in your face - nothing's real short of reality.... 

That's it. That's what is. That's love. That's absolutely Un-describable love. That you, God, would even give me that. 

 Can you know that Hitler didn't bring more people to realization than Jesus? On your knees - God. God! God! But our stories of reality keep us from the awareness of God is Everything. And God is Good. [...] 

There has never been evil and there never will be. Evil is simply a story about what's not... 

But I have trashed the baby when I have trashed the Nazi... 

I am the baby going into the pit. I am the one throwing the baby in the pit...

Byron Katie just keeps going on and on from there. 

So according to Byron Katie, Nazi's mass murdering Jewish women's babies by burning them to death alive while the mothers watch, is the loving work of God. 

As a matter of fact, Byron Katie says that baby killers are "higher" than the illusion of mommy.

The book Losing the Moon from which the above quotation has been taken has now been removed, but aspects of this justification of all kind of unethical behaviour (in the name of love) are seen again and again in The Work.
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And jj52 ends her account: “But, I think it was the passage where she said that she likes pretending to be human and called it her ´disguise´ that really put the whole thing over the top. Apathy I could probably handle...but in-humanness is going too far. I can´t even express the disturbing way I've felt watching all of these people (there were about 300 at The School) throwing away a normal, healthy range of emotions for ´bliss´. And, I find it interesting that none of them have ever actually become like Katie. I guess psychosis is pretty hard to self-induce...?”

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David Hawkins

Guru Ratings, More on Dr David Hawkins 

"More on Dr David Hawkins": http://www3.telus.net/public/sarlo/Yhawkins.htm

There is said to be a cult-like element to Hawkins' scale whereby it is impervious to challenge: anyone who questions his results, or whose own results differ significantly, is by definition coming in below 200, the level of integrity, and therefore not worth listening to. This is a classic cult invalidation tactic, a circular logic catch-22 that skewers all deviation from the Official Line.
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The Emperor's New Clothes

— David Hawkins' absolute calibration of truth: http://www.energygrid.com/spirit/2007/09ap-davidhawkins.html 

For example, cults and cult leaders can be identified fairly accurately (although never absolutely) by applying the means of Lifton's criteria to judge the evidence. Hawkins' arm-pushing organisation certainly seems to have most of these criteria, so it is likely, if you accept the Lifton model and use it to assess the accepted facts regarding Hawkins and his organisation, that Hawkins' organisation is a cult and that Hawkins is a cult leader. But again, this will always be somewhat speculative as subjective elements are involved (although in a court of law such criteria are often applied because the conclusion does not have to be absolutely true — just beyond reasonable doubt). There are also other sets of criteria that indicate the likely presence of a cult, such as the ones listed on the Rick A. Ross online cult database. But Hawkins' cult status remains, at least for me, a value judgment, although I would consider it highly probable, given the evidence and how it fits accepted cult criteria, that he is a cult leader. (Other critics believe that because he crosses the "beyond reasonable doubt" line Hawkins can "factually" be labeled a cult leader). ...

Hawkins is a pathological narcissist / egotist. This is a value judgment - Category 3 criticism. Although looking at a list of criteria for narcissism Hawkins does seem to fit the bill. For example, Hawkins does seem to have a grandiose sense of self-importance (he claims to be enlightened and to having written the most truthful material in history), he does seem preoccupied with power (Power vs Force), he does believe he is special (listing honorary titles and his diploma mill PhD on his CV), and he does seem to be intolerant to criticism, defining its vibration below 200 and therefore not even worth addressing.

4 comments:

  1. I saw Byron Katie in person and was very confused and felt chilled by witnessing work that Katie did with a sexual abuse survivor that seemed to me to be an invalidation of this woman's deep and understandable pain.

    It created in me a reluctance to go further into Byron Katie's teachings.

    So reading this is validating to me and I feel myself breathing deeper and I feel sort of like I am waking up from being slapped.

    Thank you.

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  2. I'm so glad, Pamela. Thank you for sharing. It is my belief that most of us who are seeking and on a spiritual journey have at some point experienced harm by someone considered to be a "healer." We can all support each other in so many ways, including sharing out stories of both harm and healing. Bless you.

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  3. Thank you, Molly. As we share our truths, we all come closer to true healing.

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  4. Thank you so much Molly for sharing such useful content. Best Quotes Website

    ReplyDelete