The warm embrace of self-kindness makes our suffering bearable, providing a soothing balm that softens the hard edges of our pain. When we treat ourselves as a kind friend would, we are no longer totally absorbed by playing the role of the one who is suffering. Yes, I hurt. But I also feel care and concern. I am both the comforter and the one in need of comfort. There is more to me than the pain I am feeling right now, I am also the heartfelt response to that pain. When we are moved by how difficult like is in the moment, somehow that moment isn't as difficult as it was just a second ago. We add a new ingredient to our experience, providing relief like a cool spring bubbling up in a hot, dry desert.
- Kristin Neff, Ph.D., excerpted Self-Compassion:
The Proven Power of Being Kind To Yourself
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