World's Power Brokers Hold Annual Summit Where They Show Each Other Their Penises

Okay, this one's just a bit beyond my "norm"... but I just had to do it...!

International titans of industry, media, and politics examine one another's genitals.

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND—One hundred fifty of the world's most powerful people in the fields of politics, banking, business, and media met this past weekend at an exclusive Swiss resort for the 54th annual invitation-only summit where they show each other their penises.

This year's meeting was chaired by a committee that included Rupert Murdoch, former U.S. national security adviser Brent Scowcroft, oil heir David H. Koch, and Japanese finance minister Yoshihiko Noda, all of whom presided over the traditional penis-showing ceremony that has for decades been a banner event for the most influential international power brokers.

"I always look forward to this crucial and productive gathering," said industrialist and banker Jacob Wallenberg of the Swedish Wallenbergs, a prominent European family that has wielded significant clout in global financial and political affairs for more than two centuries. "To see the penises of so many like-minded, forward-thinking men and to show them my own penis—this is what keeps the global wheels of industry and ingenuity turning."

"After all, these are inarguably the most important penises of our time," Wallenberg added before unzipping his tuxedo pants and heading back into a scrum of other immensely powerful and wealthy men already gazing contemplatively at one another's exposed genitalia.

As it does every year, the ceremony followed a strict a system of seniority wherein members first reveal their sex organs to the seated committee and assembled invitees before the floor is opened up for general penis exposition. The honor of the showing of the first penis this year was given to billionaire real estate mogul Leonard Litwin, 95, the oldest member in attendance.

The annual penis-showing summit has a rich history, having first been held in 1957 at a Lake Tahoe chateau owned by American banker David Rockefeller, Sr. of the hugely influential six-generation Rockefeller oil dynasty. According to Rockefeller, the gathering was born of the simple idea that "the people who hold the most sway over the direction of world affairs ought naturally to have some sense of what each other's penises look like."

More: http://www.theonion.com/articles/worlds-power-brokers-hold-annual-summit-where-they,18474/

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