Friday, January 26, 2024

Jack Adam Weber: How Both Humanity and the Planet Are Saved

So wise and true. — Molly


If you want to know the full flower of your heart, and become more available to others, allow yourself to be changed by what wants to be grieved. This means surrendering to the feeling and to the story of (deep) sadness. What needs to be grieved makes itself known: it hurts.

From this we are renewed in love from the same depths to which we allowed ourselves to grieve, to feel. This is the slow process of soulful integration and how both humanity and the planet are saved.

— Jack Adam Weber

Our Burning, Broken, Beautiful World: Thoughts on Turning 43

Wow! What a powerful, heartfelt, beautiful, wise, and vital piece this is! Thank you and birthday blessings to Kelly, it’s author. And may more and more of rise up, speak up, and act in every way possible to do our part to end the genocide of the Palestinian people and be an increasing part of the universal struggle for a more caring, just, sustainable, and peaceful world. — Molly

People participate in a march in support of Palestine in Chicago, Illinois, on October 18, 2023.

Caring deeply in an uncaring world can be a lonely business. We must foster movements that provide us with fellowship.

Today is my 43rd birthday. Two decades ago, this milestone seemed improbable, if not impossible. And yet, here I am, living in improbable, impossible times. Having survived what might have killed me, I sit upright and pour tears and laughter into a keyboard, which lets them loose upon the world.

Upon our burning, broken, beautiful world…

As I celebrate another year on this Earth, I am also taking a moment to lament life’s brevity. In the United States, Native people have the lowest life expectancy compared with other racial and ethnic groups. Diné organizer Klee Benally, who recently joined the ancestors, was only 48 when he departed. Time is so precious. It is our most finite resource, and we never know how much we have. We’re often told to make the most of it, but that means different things to different people.

I have the honor of sharing a birthday with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and, health permitting, I hope to mark the day by attending a protest. King was only 39 years old when he died, and he inarguably made the most of those years. Today, his legacy is often weaponized against protesters by white critics who would have condemned his organizing and his methods had they lived during King’s active years. Such people often point to protests they find objectionable or inconvenient and claim that Martin Luther King Jr. never would have engaged in such shenanigans – even when the tactic in question is one that King himself embraced.

Today, I am thinking about how King would have reacted to the ongoing genocide in Palestine. At the Anti-War Conference in Los Angeles, California, in February of 1967, King said, “It is not enough to say, ‘We must not wage war.’ It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it.”

As I revisit those words, I think about what so many protesters have lost and risked while demanding an end to Israeli genocide. Activists have imperiled their liberty, their employment, and even their lives to end this violence because they know the people of Palestine are losing so much more in real time. Protesters are making sacrifices for peace and justice, as King said we must.

I am also thinking about how many people now claim to have marched with King or to have supported his work, even though recorded facts indicate that most of those people are full of shit.

In the years to come, as the horrid details of Israel’s ethnic cleansing of Gaza are written into history, how many people will claim they marched to stop the genocide in Gaza? How many will say they spoke against it?

While reflecting on the similarities between Native genocide and the horrors being inflicted upon Palestinians, my friend Sarah Kendzior recently wrote:

If you lived in the 1820s and 1830s, would you protest indigenous displacement? Would you countenance the destruction of entire family lines? Would you justify children dying as they walked hundreds of miles to Oklahoma, a territory the Choctaw renamed — Oklahoma is Choctaw for “land of the courageous” — in an attempt to maintain their dignity? Would you call them “barbarians” to ease your guilt? Would you buy into the myth of the “Vanishing Indian”, and pretend their extinction was preordained? Would you lie and claim the land was empty when the colonizers arrived?

 Sarah rightly suggests that one’s response to the genocide being waged by Israel is likely indicative of how one would have responded to Native genocide. I have been troubled by the notion, of late, that fanatical support of Israel’s violence, along with the indifference of those who offer no opinion, underlines how historical atrocities have occurred and will continue to occur. There is no moral mystery. Atrocities occur because the majority approves, consents, or simply refuses to act.

Worlds within worlds burn, and the Earth itself burns, while most people go about their lives, justifying the flames or refusing to assert, or even imagine, that anything or anyone could be saved.

I am also thinking of the words of James Baldwin, who said, “The world is held together, really it is held together, by the love and the passion of a very few people.”

Many people will lie about who they were and what they did during these dark days, as historical shame begets myth-making coverups. There is nothing we can do about that right now. What we can do is wage struggle and do our part, with all the love and passion we can offer, to hold the world together.

Caring deeply in an uncaring world can be a lonely business, so we must foster movements that provide us with fellowship and belonging as we live in struggle. We must find ways to hold each other and to be held as we endeavor to breathe some justice into the lungs of this world.

We must remember that joy and laughter have long been cultivated amid ruins and wreckage and that this, too, is part of what it means to survive in collectivity. We must never be duped into believing that joy and justice exist in opposition to one another, but rather, seek every opportunity to marry the two.

I often think about the words of my friend Mariame Kaba, who talks about working to minimize the space between our values and our actions. That is the work before us. Even on days when we do not march, we can always take another step in the direction of our values. We can live our politics as fully as possible, recognizing that we are not the majority but that our acts of love and resistance are the stuff that possibility is made of.

If we want decency to thrive in this world, we must nurture decency in our own lives and hearts. We must sing dissent in a world that would dismiss and belittle our hopes for one another.

Sometimes, I marvel at the fact that I am still here when so many others, who I have so much in common with are not. From COVID-19 to Palestine and beyond, I know I am not alone in this feeling. Why am I still here? Why me and not them? And what am I to make of it?

Before he was martyred, the great Palestinian poet Refaat Alareer told us, “If I must die/ let it bring hope/ let it be a tale.” Alareer shaped hurt and hope into words and poured them into a keyboard, which let them loose upon the world. In doing so, he summoned hope and action in the face of death. That is not only a feat but also a gift. As we struggle to make sense of life and death amid broken buildings, worldviews, and futures, Alareer’s words tug us by the sleeve and urge us onward, despite our confusion and grief. Who can decline such an invitation?

Alareer’s poetry compels me to say that if I am to live another year, let it be a challenge. May I practice hope. May I build power in concert with others. May I move through the world with love, solidarity, and an unshakable belief in our potential. For this is what we must make of time.

So, I celebrate another journey around the sun and another set of opportunities to move toward joy and justice. And while I don’t know how much time you, or I, or humanity has left to wander this burning, broken, beautiful world, I believe that, together, we can make the most of it.

In solidarity,

Kelly

*****

Please go here for the original piece: https://truthout.org/articles/our-burning-broken-beautiful-world-thoughts-on-turning-43/

“Trump Is the Nominee. Fascism Is on the Ballot.” Author Jeff Sharlet on New Hampshire & Beyond

I have the highest respect and gratitude for Jeff Sharlet and, as always, for Amy Goodman. This is such an excellent, important, and illuminating interview with Jeff. — Molly


Former President Donald Trump trounced runner-up Nikki Haley in Tuesday’s Republican primary, in what Jeff Sharlet, expert on the far right, says is another landmark in the acceleration of fascism in the United States. “Trump is the nominee. Fascism is on the ballot,” says Sharlet, who describes how Trump is appealing to broader groups of Americans, why the political press is failing to capture the fascist movement, and the importance of resisting its growth. “It’s popular front time. It’s broad coalition time.”

Please go here for the full interview and transcript: https://www.democracynow.org/2024/1/24/trump_fascism_2024

Marc Lamont Hill Delivers Absolutely Brilliant Speech Over Recent Biden Moment

Thank you for sharing this, Norman Solomon! So well articulated! So powerful!! Such vital voices to hear and truly absorb — courageous voices that can take us more deeply into the truth of how authentically aligned or misaligned we are with the values we profess. Are we more attached to a political party or to truly caring about human rights and suffering and justice? Are we aligned with the incessant and toxic propaganda of those in positions of power? Or are we listening to and actually giving voice to truth and acting in every way that we can to end the utter madness and evil of things that are happening right now — like the genocide of the Palestinian people? These, to me, are vital questions for us all to be asking ourselves and acting upon individually and collectively. — Molly

"Ceasefire Now" vs. Biden Slaughter:

Discussing the incredible speech given by academic, activist, and BET host Marc Lamont Hill at Saint Sabina over the recent protest (and subsequent reaction) to Joe Biden's speech at Mother Emanuel AME.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O874vpydlD4

Chris Hedges: It May be Genocide, But it Won’t Be Stopped

 

The ruling by the International Court of Justice was a legal victory for South Africa and the Palestinians, but it will not halt the slaughter.

Red Ink - by Mr. Fish

The International Court of Justice (ICJ) refused to implement the most crucial demand made by South African jurists: “the State of Israel shall immediately suspend its military operations in and against Gaza.” But at the same time, it delivered a devastating blow to the foundational myth of Israel. Israel, which paints itself as eternally persecuted, has been credibly accused of committing genocide against Palestinians in Gaza. Palestinians are the victims, not the perpetrators, of the “crime of crimes.” A people, once in need of protection from genocide, are now potentially committing it. The court’s ruling questions the very raison d'être of the “Jewish State” and challenges the impunity Israel has enjoyed since its founding 75 years ago.  

The ICJ ordered Israel to take six provisional measures to prevent acts of genocide, measures that will be very difficult if not impossible to fulfill if Israel continues its saturation bombing of Gaza and wholesale targeting of vital infrastructure. 

The court called on Israel “to prevent and punish the direct and public incitement to commit genocide.” It demanded Israel “take immediate and effective measures to enable the provision of urgently needed basic services and humanitarian assistance.” It ordered Israel to protect Palestinian civilians. It called on Israel to protect the some 50,000 women giving birth in Gaza. It ordered Israel to take “effective measures to prevent the destruction and ensure the preservation of evidence related to allegations of acts within the scope of Article II and Article III of the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide against members of the Palestinian group in the Gaza Strip.” 

The court ordered Israel to “take all measures within its power” to prevent the crimes which amount to genocide such as “killing, causing serious bodily and mental harm, inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part, and imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group.”

Israel was ordered to report back in one month to explain what it had done to implement the provisional measures.

Gaza was pounded with bombs, missiles and artillery shells as the ruling was read in The Hague — at least 183 Palestinians have been killed in the last 24 hours. Since Oct. 7, more than 26,000 Palestinians have been killed. Almost 65,000 have been wounded, according to the Palestinian Ministry of Health. Thousands more are missing. The carnage continues. This is the cold reality. 

Translated into the vernacular, the court is saying Israel must feed and provide medical care for the victims, cease public statements advocating genocide, preserve evidence of genocide and stop killing Palestinian civilians. Come back and report in a month. 

It is hard to see how these provisional measures can be achieved if the carnage in Gaza continues.

“Without a ceasefire, the order doesn’t actually work,” Naledi Pandor, South Africa’s minister of international relations, stated bluntly after the ruling. 

Time is not on the side of the Palestinians. Thousands of Palestinians will die within a month. Palestinians in Gaza make up 80 percent of all the people facing famine or catastrophic hunger worldwide, according to the United Nations. The entire population of Gaza by early February is projected to lack sufficient food, with half a million people suffering from starvation, according to the Integrated Food Security Phase Classification, drawing on data from U.N. agencies and NGOs. The famine is engineered by Israel. 

At best, the court — while it will not rule for a few years on whether Israel is committing genocide — has given legal license to use the word “genocide” to describe what Israel is doing in Gaza. This is very significant, but it is not enough, given the humanitarian catastrophe in Gaza. 

Israel has dropped almost 30,000 bombs and shells on Gaza — eight times more bombs than the U.S. dropped on Iraq during six years of war. It has used hundreds of 2,000-pound bombs to obliterate densely populated areas, including refugee camps. These “bunker buster” bombs have a kill radius of a thousand feet. The Israeli aerial assault is unlike anything seen since Vietnam. Gaza, only 20 miles long and five miles wide, is rapidly becoming, by design, uninhabitable.

Israel will no doubt continue its assault arguing that it is not in violation of the court’s directives. In addition, the Biden administration will undoubtedly veto the resolution at the Security Council demanding Israel implement the provisional measures. The General Assembly, if the Security Council does not endorse the measures, can vote again calling for a ceasefire, but has no power to enforce it. 

Defense for Children International - Palestine v. Biden was filed in November by the Center for Constitutional Rights against President Joe Biden, Secretary of State Antony Blinken and Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin. The case challenges the U.S. government’s failure to prevent complicity in Israel’s unfolding genocide of the Palestinian people. It asks the court to order the Biden administration to cease diplomatic and military support and comply with its legal obligations under international and federal law. 

The only active resistance to halt the Gaza genocide is provided by Yemen’s Red Sea blockade. Yemen, which was under siege for eight years by Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, France, Britain and the U.S., experienced over 400,000 deaths from starvation, lack of health care, infectious diseases and the deliberate bombing of schools, hospitals, infrastructure, residential areas, markets, funerals and weddings. Yemenis know too well — since at least 2017 multiple U.N. agencies have described Yemen as experiencing “the largest humanitarian crisis in the world” — what the Palestinians are enduring. 

Yemen’s resistance — when the history of this genocide is written — will set it apart from nearly every other nation. The rest of the world, including the Arab world, retreats into toothless rhetorical condemnations or actively supports Israel’s obliteration of Gaza and its 2.3 million inhabitants.

The Israeli newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth reported that the U.S. has sent 230 cargo planes and 20 ships filled with artillery shells, armored vehicles and combat equipment to Israel since the attacks of Oct. 7, in which some 1,200 Israelis were killed. U.S. weapons and military equipment are being shipped to Israel — which is running out of munitions — from the British base RAF Akrotiri in Cyprus, according to the U.K. investigative website Declassified UK. The Israeli newspaper Haaretz reported that more than 40 U.S. and 20 British transport aircraft, along with seven heavy-lift helicopters, have flown into RAF Akrotiri, a 40-minute flight from Tel Aviv. Germany reportedly plans to provide 10,000 rounds of 120mm precision ammunition to Israel. If the court rules against Israel, these countries will be recognized by the world’s most important international court as accomplices to genocide.

The ruling was dismissed by Israeli leaders. 

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, seeking to paint the decision not to demand a ceasefire as a victory for Israel, said “Like every country, Israel has an inherent right to defend itself. The vile attempt to deny Israel this fundamental right is blatant discrimination against the Jewish state, and it was justly rejected. The charge of genocide leveled against Israel is not only false, it’s outrageous, and decent people everywhere should reject it.”

“The decision of the antisemitic court in The Hague proves what was already known: This court does not seek justice, but rather the persecution of Jewish people,” National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir said. “They were silent during the Holocaust and today they continue the hypocrisy and take it another step further.”

The ICJ was founded in 1945 following the Nazi Holocaust. The first case it heard was submitted to the court in 1947.

“Decisions that endanger the continued existence of the State of Israel must not be listened to,” Ben-Gvir added. “We must continue defeating the enemy until complete victory.”

The court, which rejected Israel’s arguments to dismiss the case, acknowledged “that the military operation being conducted by Israel following the attack of 7 October 2023 has resulted, inter alia, in tens of thousands of deaths and injuries and the destruction of homes, schools, medical facilities and other vital infrastructure, as well as displacement on a massive scale.” 

The ruling included a statement made by the U.N. Under-Secretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs and Emergency Relief Coordinator, Martin Griffiths, who on Jan. 5, called Gaza “a place of death and despair.” The court document went on:

. . . Families are sleeping in the open as temperatures plummet. Areas where civilians were told to relocate for their safety have come under bombardment. Medical facilities are under relentless attack. The few hospitals that are partially functional are overwhelmed with trauma cases, critically short of all supplies, and inundated by desperate people seeking safety.

A public health disaster is unfolding. Infectious diseases are spreading in overcrowded shelters as sewers spill over. Some 180 Palestinian women are giving birth daily amidst this chaos. People are facing the highest levels of food insecurity ever recorded. Famine is around the corner.

For children in particular, the past 12 weeks have been traumatic: No food. No water. No school. Nothing but the terrifying sounds of war, day in and day out.

Gaza has simply become uninhabitable. Its people are witnessing daily threats to their very existence — while the world watches on.

The court acknowledged that “an unprecedented 93% of the population in Gaza is facing crisis levels of hunger, with insufficient food and high levels of malnutrition. At least 1 in 4 households are facing ‘catastrophic conditions’: experiencing an extreme lack of food and starvation and having resorted to selling off their possessions and other extreme measures to afford a simple meal. Starvation, destitution and death are evident.” 

The ruling, quoting Philippe Lazzarini, the Commissioner-General of the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in the Near East (UNRWA), continued:

Overcrowded and unsanitary UNRWA shelters have now become ‘home’ to more than 1.4 million people,” the ruling read. “They lack everything, from food to hygiene to privacy. People live in inhumane conditions, where diseases are spreading, including among children. They live through the unlivable, with the clock ticking fast towards famine.

The plight of children in Gaza is especially heartbreaking. An entire generation of children is traumatized and will take years to heal. Thousands have been killed, maimed, and orphaned. Hundreds of thousands are deprived of education. Their future is in jeopardy, with far-reaching and long-lasting consequences.

The court also referred pointedly to comments made by multiple senior Israeli government officials advocating genocide, including the president and minister of defense. Statements made by government and other officials form a crucial element of the “intent” component when seeking to establish the crime of genocide.

It quoted Israeli Defense Minister Yoav Gallant who declared — two days after the Hamas-led attack of Oct. 7 — that he ordered a “complete siege” of Gaza City with “no electricity, no food, no fuel” being permitted. 

“I have released all restraints . . . You saw what we are fighting against. We are fighting human animals. This is the ISIS of Gaza,” Gallant told Israeli troops massing around Gaza the following day. “This is what we are fighting against…Gaza won’t return to what it was before. There will be no Hamas. We will eliminate everything. If it doesn’t take one day, it will take a week, it will take weeks or even months, we will reach all places.”

The ICJ quoted Israel’s President Isaac Herzog as saying, “It is not true this rhetoric about civilians not aware, not involved. It is absolutely not true. They could have risen up. They could have fought against that evil regime which took over Gaza in a coup d’état. But we are at war. We are at war. We are defending our homes.” Herzog continued “We are protecting our homes. That’s the truth. And when a nation protects its home, it fights. And we will fight until we’ll break their backbone.”

Today’s decision was read out by the ICJ’s current president, Judge Joan Donoghue, an American lawyer who used to work at the U.S. State Department and the Department of the Treasury before she joined the World Court in 2010.

“In the Court’s view, the facts and circumstances mentioned above are sufficient to conclude that at least some of the rights claimed by South Africa and for which it is seeking protection are plausible,” it read. “This is the case with respect to the right of the Palestinians in Gaza to be protected from acts of genocide and related prohibited acts identified in Article III, and the right of South Africa to seek Israel’s compliance with the latter’s obligations under the Convention.”

It is clear from the ruling that the court is fully aware of the magnitude of Israel’s crimes. This makes the decision not to call for the immediate suspension of Israeli military activity in and against Gaza all the more distressing.  

But the court did deliver a devastating blow to the mystique Israel has used since its founding to carry out its settler colonial project against the indigenous inhabitants of historic Palestine. It made the word genocide, when applied to Israel, credible. 

Please go here for the original article: https://chrishedges.substack.com/p/it-may-be-genocide-but-it-wont-be

'Crucial Moment in History': ICJ Orders Israel to Prevent Acts of Genocide in Gaza

Although the court did not use the word "ceasefire," it is vital to hear and understand the rulings and to recognize that implementing the demands of the International Court of Justice would necessitate an immediate ceasefire. Now it is up to Biden to comply with these demands and end his complicity with genocide. Our nation and the world are watching. — Molly 

International Court of Justice President Joan Donoghue and ICJ judges arrive prior to the verdict announcement in the genocide case against Israel brought by South Africa in The Hague, Netherlands on January 26, 2024. (Photo: Remko de Waal/ANP/AFP via Getty Images)

"One thing has been made clear on the world stage: There is vastly documented evidence that Israel is committing genocide against Palestinians," said the U.S. Campaign for Palestinian Rights.

By JAKE JOHNSON

The International Court of Justice ruled Friday that South Africa's genocide case is plausible and ordered Israel to "take all measures within its power" to uphold its obligations under Article II of the Genocide Convention.

The court also ordered the Israeli government to ensure its military does not commit violations of the convention in Gaza, punish those who incite genocide, immediately provide basic services and humanitarian assistance to Gazans, prevent the destruction of evidence that could show violations of international law, and submit a report to the ICJ on all steps it takes to implement the above measures.

The ICJ did not grant South Africa's request for a cease-fire.

While a final determination from the court on whether Israel is guilty of genocide in Gaza could be years away, Friday's ruling from the United Nations' highest court was seen as a huge blow to the Israeli government and its top arms supplier, the United States, which called South Africa's case "meritless."

"This ruling from the ICJ is a massive legal defeat for Israel and its premiere defenders, the U.S. and Germany," The Intercept's Jeremy Scahill wrote Friday. "The question now is enforceability and whether the U.S. will openly trample international law in an effort to continue aiding Israeli crimes against Palestinians."

As she read the court's interim decision, ICJ President Joan Donoghue cited testimony from United Nations officials and others on the appalling conditions on the ground in the Gaza Strip, where most of the population is displaced, starving, and struggling to survive Israel's relentless aerial and ground assault.

Donoghue said the court deemed the threat of "irreparable harm" to Gazans real and concluded that emergency measures were necessary to protect the Palestinian population from genocide.

"This is a crucial moment in history to finally holding Israel accountable," the U.S. Campaign for Palestinian Rights said in response to the decision. "One thing has been made clear on the world stage: There is vastly documented evidence that Israel is committing genocide against Palestinians."

Please go here for the original article: https://www.commondreams.org/news/watch-live-international-court-of-justice-delivers-ruling-in-israel-genocide-case

Can Israel Ignore World Court's Order? Experts Weigh in on ICJ Genocide Case

This is an excellent, heartbreaking, and profoundly important program today on Democracy Now! It also needs to be highlighted here that a ceasefire is indeed ordered. Yes, that word was not specifically used. But the culmination of each and all of the rulings means that a ceasefire must occur immediately in order for the court's demands to be implemented. Now the question is if our own government will comply with or defy the International Court's rulings? The world will be watching, not just Israel, but also the American president and whether or not he will continue to provide arms to Israel, refuse to demand of Netanyahu an immediate ceasefire, and continue to support the genocide. I am chilled to the bone with knowing that it is highly unlikely that Biden and our government will now stop its immoral and brutal complicity and clear support of the psychopath Netanyahu and the Israeli government's ongoing mass slaughter of the Palestinian people. Our nation and the world are watching. And my husband and I will be looking for marches, places of civil disobedience, and every way possible that we can stand up against this madness and evil and stand for sanity, justice, accountability, caring, and peace. — Molly

We continue to look at the International Court of Justice's interim ruling in South Africa v. Israel with Stockton University professor Raz Segal and human rights lawyer Diana Buttu. We discuss Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's response to the ruling, the role of the United States in stymying international action and more. We also hear more from ICJ president Joan Donoghue's delivery of the ruling, including the court's acknowledgement of the dire humanitarian crisis in Gaza. Democracy Now! is an independent global news hour that airs on over 1,500 TV and radio stations Monday through Friday. Watch our livestream at democracynow.org Mondays to Fridays 8-9 a.m. ET.

https://www.democracynow.org/

Monday, January 22, 2024

Reflections On What Builds and Nourishes a Healthy, Enduring, and Deeply Loving Partnership

With my beloved in Oaxaca, October 2023

Reflections On What Builds and Nourishes
a Healthy, Enduring, and Deeply 
Loving Partnership

Deep thanks to the beautiful poet Chelan Harkin (https://chelanharkin.com/) who posed an inquiry into things that people are working on in their relationships. I responded with this reflection on what has enabled my husband and me to be grounded in such a mutually respectful and loving partnership.

Ron and I met over 13 years ago when he was 62 and I was 59. We initially connected through Match on-line dating. He had been single for 15 years following a 17 year marriage, and I had been single for 8 years following a 30 year marriage. Ron and I married 2-1/2 years later. Gratefully we had each learned a lot from the difficult and painful experiences in our first marriages.
Several things come to mind related to the enduring and deeply loving partnership that my husband and I have now been sharing over the years and which neither of us had ever experienced before. This is a glimpse into what has made all the difference:
  • Facing, identifying, and working with fears of intimacy and vulnerability and trust, fears of truly opening our hearts to love and then being abandoned, and fears of not truly being loved and lovable.
  • Intertwined with all of this is being conscious and aware and accountable enough to identity and work with triggers and all the old places that deep relationships bring up rather than being stuck in projections and shame and blame and the fears of the scared little girl inside me.
  • Placing a high value on truthfulness, honesty, and transparency. Not avoiding conflict. Addressing what is emerging as it happens. Which takes a lot of courage.
  • Addressing, healing, and transforming the generational and cultural trauma that we each carry. This includes recognizing the impact of what bell hooks refers to as “imperialist white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy” on us, our culture, and beyond.
  • Getting help as needed. When I’ve felt haunted by old places that I know are negatively impacting our marriage, I’ve sought out the support of therapy and close friends. I haven’t had any expectations that my partner will “fix” me, which would be a betrayal of my highest good.
  • Refusing to take on the projections of my partner and naming my awareness of his triggers just as I’ve assumed responsibility for mine.
  • Owning and apologizing when I've messed up. Transforming my unskillful actions into opportunities for learning and growth.
  • Recognizing that our partnership can serve as the sacred ground upon which we can support ourselves and each other to more deeply address, heal, and transform the old hurts and wounds that we’ve experienced. Understanding that this can be hard work and being committed to it.
  • Deepening and evolving in our individual and shared spiritual practices. Seeking to grow healthier together in mind, body, heart, spirit and soul.
  • Respect for our different needs and interests and needs for space.
  • Growing and expanding the experiences, activities, interests, and spiritual and political perspectives that we each value and which strengthen our hearts.
  • Recognizing, affirming, and supporting our partner’s strengths, creativity, and gifts.
  • Opening our hearts to developing deeply loving relationships each other’s children and grandchildren and close friends. I am also grateful for my friendship with my husband’s first wife.
  • Daily and multiple times expressing gratitude and appreciation, tenderness and compassion, deep listening and witnessing, affection and the sweetness of hugs and kisses and holding, and giving voice to how wonderful my beloved is and how much I love him.
  • Recognition that we humans all have wounds and foibles, things that we struggle with, and are imperfect and will screw up. And letting that be okay, accepted, affirmed. Building trust and deepening our love for each other through the hard times and not in spite of them.
  • Being committed to our ongoing individual and mutual growth and evolution as a couple and as human beings.
There’s more, but this is a glimpse. This enduring deeply loving relationship with my beloved also would not have been possible had I not been engaged in years of healing and transforming trauma and opening my heart to loving myself. There is no greater gift that we can give to ourselves, those we love, and the world than doing the deep and sacred work of learning how to undefend our hearts.
Blessings to us all on our human journeys,
💗
Molly

Chelan Harkin: To Not Hide From Ourself

Photo by Molly

 To Not Hide From Ourself

To not hide from ourself
Is to learn that every wound
Within us
We once feared
Was a permanent fixture
Can open itself to be
Infused with love.
And in this giving up
Of these storehouses
Of distance
In our being
We for so long
Refused to know,
We are edified,
We are made more whole,
We experience a deep homecoming
And communion
With ourself and our one lover,
This ravishing universe.

— Chelan Harkin


Jeff Brown: The Best Way To Free Ourselves

 This is certainly a powerful reflection of 
my experience. Deep bow of 
gratitude to Jeff Brown.
— Molly

There’s nothing free about non-commitment rooted in intimacy avoidance. There’s nothing free about polyamory emanating from unresolved trauma history. There’s nothing free about wanderlust sourced in relational terror. Being a ‘free spirit’ has its place as part of the exploration of self, other, ways of being but if it's emanating from woundedness, it’s just another prison. Our defenses can trick us into believing that our hunger for freedom is fundamental to our soul's imprint, but it’s often something else. It’s often an ungrounded flight of fancy, a delay tactic, a hide and seek game we are playing with our pain. If we avoid closeness, we can fool ourselves into believing that we have healed. But it only works for so long. Because we aren't healed, and the remnants of our unresolved pain will show up everywhere. Simply put, we are wounded in close relationship, and some part of our healing has to happen in close relationship. There’s no way around it. The best way to free ourselves from pain-body prison is to learn how to trust again.

— Jeff Brown