Imagine a time when we humans rise up together in the strength and beauty of our true nature. That beauty would parallel the beauty of a sunrise over a stunning mountain meadow. Just imagine movements sprouting up, connecting, and growing everywhere with the shared purpose and commitment to creating a just and caring society. Just imagine.
It's my belief that a first step is to believe that this is possible — that humankind can evolve, and that our deepest nature is one of caring, kindness, generosity, and compassion. Although we are so often immersed in stories of the darker side of human nature, it is also true that our species is capable of transforming ourselves in such a way that we value and contribute to the well-being and protection of the Earth and all of life.
A second step that I have consistently discovered over many years now is mindfulness and paying attention coupled with allowing and opening to the realization that things may not be as I've believed them to be. Then, I've had to make a decision over and over again to either pursue more information or to retreat back into the familiarity of my comfort zone. And this is key — the capacity to question, to listen and discern that something does not feel or seem right or complete, and to then to make a conscious decision to explore new territory and seek greater understanding.
When I first entered Al-Anon in 1983, and then AA in 1984, I was told that "more will be revealed." And I was told that the capacity for honesty was essential to my sobriety. My eyes well with tears in this moment as I recognize the spiritual grace, courage, synchronicity, and support which have compelled me from those earliest days to seek the truth, no matter what. And over these past 37 years, my pursuit of truth has broken my heart open again and again and again. In the midst of big "growth spurts," I wasn't so happy with my growing pains. But today I am profoundly grateful.
This is the journey which has empowered me to be waking up from so many layers of illusions and one by one by one lifting the veils of my unknowing so that more could be revealed ... again and again.
Through this process, I am blessed with the most profound treasure of all — the exquisite gift of living with an ever-increasingly open heart and open mind. It is this openness which empowers me to be rooted into this miraculous journey of seeing with new eyes, being a lifelong learner, and growing my capacity to embrace truth and love.
It is also true that with greater awareness, comes responsibility, a depth of responsibility that I was once unaware of and blinded to. Unlike my life before, today I experience — not just know up in my head, but experience in the depths of my being — how it is that we are all connected. This growing consciousness of how we are all related has moved me to gradually make many deep changes in my life, and among them has been letting go of eating meat or anything that has a face over the past 14 years. I'm also drawn to join with all humans worldwide who are working towards a more just world. And I've become empowered to increasingly recognize when I am triggered and to take responsibility for my emotions, mistakes, judgments, unskillful reactions, choices, and boundaries.
This deeply spiritual journey moves me ever more deeply into the ways that I come here to learn, to heal and evolve, to care, and to expand how it is that I am able to alleviate the suffering within myself and my loved ones and in the world. This always begins with taking responsibility for my own pain and suffering, anger and outrage, and the deep grief I experience for all who suffer... and especially when the suffering that is at the hands of other humans. I am committed to doing the very best I can to not contribute to that suffering. In part, this means that I can hate the injustice, but not the perpetrator of injustice.
Today I understand that we are all family. Those who walk the Earth, fly in the sky, live in our waters — we are all related, all part of a greater whole. This consciousness is so very different from the separation, numbness, and lack of awareness that was once normal to me. Now, through the felt experience of how it is that we are all interdependent and interconnected, the suffering and the joy of others is also mine.
Consequently, as I come to recognize more and more of the many subtle and overt faces of violence within myself and others, I can no longer stand by in silence, in ignorance, in justification for unskilled actions, in complicity with harmful beliefs, or in enabling people and systems who are the perpetrators of great harm upon the Earth and her inhabitants.
I hold the vision that more and more of us will allow our hearts to break open until we come to know in our deepest selves what hurts and what helps other humans, other beings, and the Earth, also hurts or helps us. We are all family.
"You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens."
— Rumi
* * * * *
What if we all were to take a step back right now and individually and collectively work to lift any fog that we may unknowingly be in and see with clearer vision a larger picture and greater truths? What would it look like if more and more of us were coming together in the work of healing and awakening and transforming our world into one which embodies truth, caring, love, and justice? What if more and more of us were to do this in an ongoing way?
The very first thing that comes to me as an important part of this process is that we would choose our teachers wisely. Over the past years, I have adopted and also let go of many who I've turned to for support, wisdom, and truth. Because of personally having so many layers of woundedness and illusions which have needed to be peeled back — to recognize, heal, let go of, and ultimately transform — along the way I have consistently been drawn to others who mirrored the level of consciousness I was capable of at any given point in time.
Today I recognize with humility and compassion that this is true for all of us: we tend to be drawn to on the outside what mirrors the inside. This includes both the shadow and blind spots embodied in our unhealed wounds and unhealthy belief systems and harmful cultural stories, and also our unclaimed gifts, unrealized strengths, and our great capacity for caring, wisdom, generosity, and love. As I've continued to grow, some of my most treasured relationships have endured and strengthened and deepened as we have grown together over the decades. At the same time, there are friends, therapists, authors, radio or TV personalities, spiritual teachers and guides, and others who have come and gone from my life. I have found this to be an inevitable part of the process of expanding and opening our hearts and minds. What we experience on the outside changes as we change and grow on the inside.
We humans are not meant to be static. We get to evolve and grow. And, inevitably, sometimes it's messy and there are lessons that are learned the hard way. It is also true that even the people and beliefs which I once believed in some way nourished me, but later realized caused myself or others harm, still played a role in moving me along on this journey into greater wholeness. Everything can be our teachers, including our painful relationships and experiences. I am so grateful to know this today, that even what has been deeply painful, messy, and confusing can ultimately be used as part of what supports us in growing in compassion, understanding, tenderness, and love.
I'm moved to give a deep, deep bow of respect, gratitude, and love to those I've come to trust over time. Without exception, they embody courage, wisdom, integrity, truth, compassion, and love. And, in doing so, they contribute in some way to the struggle to create a just, peaceful, sustainable, and caring world. For me, these are requirements of anyone I turn to today for support in my ongoing process of waking up from my illusions.
Although I could not even begin to list them all, these are among those I consider to be among the diversity of my treasured teachers:
Pema Chödrön, Riane Eisler, Joanna Macy, Jane Goodall, Naomi Klein, Amy Goodman, Arundhati Roy, Vandana Shiva, Alice Walker, Maya Angelou, Angela Davis, Roxane Dunbar-Ortiz, Angeles Arrien, the 13 Indigenous Grandmothers, Rachel Carson, Dorothy Day, Rosa Parks, Michelle Alexander, Jane Mayer, Frances Moore Lappé, Howard Zinn, Martin Luther King, Jr., James Baldwin, Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela, Cornel West, Bernie Sanders, Rabbi Michael Lerner, Noam Chomsky, Chris Hedges, Henry Giroux, Jeremy Scahill, David Sirota, Daniel Ellsberg, Michael Parenti, Chalmers Johnson, Timothy Snyder, Bill Moyers, Bill McKibben, Dahr Jamail, David Korten, Bryan Stevenson, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Rev. Dr. William J. Barber II, Michael Meade, Frank Ostaseski, Francis Weller, Thích Nhất Hạnh, the Dalai Lama, Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Judith Duerk, Rachel Naomi Remen, Brené Brown, Mary Oliver, John O'Donohue, Rumi, Jack Kornfield, Doug Pullin, my three sons, my loving husband Ron Matela, many beloved and wise friends, the Earth, and the list goes on and on...
Pema Chödrön, Riane Eisler, Joanna Macy, Jane Goodall, Naomi Klein, Amy Goodman, Arundhati Roy, Vandana Shiva, Alice Walker, Maya Angelou, Angela Davis, Roxane Dunbar-Ortiz, Angeles Arrien, the 13 Indigenous Grandmothers, Rachel Carson, Dorothy Day, Rosa Parks, Michelle Alexander, Jane Mayer, Frances Moore Lappé, Howard Zinn, Martin Luther King, Jr., James Baldwin, Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela, Cornel West, Bernie Sanders, Rabbi Michael Lerner, Noam Chomsky, Chris Hedges, Henry Giroux, Jeremy Scahill, David Sirota, Daniel Ellsberg, Michael Parenti, Chalmers Johnson, Timothy Snyder, Bill Moyers, Bill McKibben, Dahr Jamail, David Korten, Bryan Stevenson, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Rev. Dr. William J. Barber II, Michael Meade, Frank Ostaseski, Francis Weller, Thích Nhất Hạnh, the Dalai Lama, Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Judith Duerk, Rachel Naomi Remen, Brené Brown, Mary Oliver, John O'Donohue, Rumi, Jack Kornfield, Doug Pullin, my three sons, my loving husband Ron Matela, many beloved and wise friends, the Earth, and the list goes on and on...
What comes to mind here is one of the great lessons I've learned, one which Angeles Arrien and others illuminate when they speak to the importance of paying attention to what has heart and meaning. Coupled with this is the wisdom of the Native American story which asks us to question: Which wolf do we feed? — https://mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2016/07/which-wolf-do-we-choose-to-feed.html. Essentially, the wise ones from all traditions tell us to be mindful of whether or not what we are taking in and absorbing makes us contract into our fears, resentments, numbness, separateness, ignorance, and illusions, or if we are feeding that which empowers us to expand, to grow in connectedness and truth and love, and to become more wholly who we are.
I have named above some of the diversity of my teachers from over the years. Who are your teachers? Who helps you to grow in mindfulness, caring, compassion, truth, and love?
It's my belief that we humans are deeply relational and cannot grow in isolation. We need the support and inspiration and wisdom of courageous visionaries who open our eyes and our hearts to new truths, to new realizations of what is possible, and to ever deepening consciousness. As Pema Chödrön reminds us, this requires being "continually thrown out of the nest" of familiarity and into new and ever expanding levels of awareness. In order for the new to be born, the old must be allowed to die away. This is true for us as individuals, and also true for us collectively as planetary sisters and brothers.
My personal belief is that we cannot continue to grow and evolve throughout our lifetimes without support and in isolation. We also will not find the support we need if we are turning to those who are not themselves moving beyond their own unknowing and harmful or limiting belief systems. Hopefully we are instead sharing the company of our fellow humans who we can relate with in a deeper way — those near and far who are able to perhaps see a bit beyond the horizon of where we are at, those whose paths speak to resilience, integrity, and the courage of staying open and embracing more and more of our unique and collective wisdom and wholeness.
If we are alive and breathing, there is more work we get to do. This is one important part of what I have discovered can move us with each year of our lives to expand in an ongoing way rather than contract. This is why I believe that choosing wisely our teachers — and our closest friends, partners, spiritual teachers, and all who we trust — matters and matters deeply.
If we are alive and breathing, there is more work we get to do. This is one important part of what I have discovered can move us with each year of our lives to expand in an ongoing way rather than contract. This is why I believe that choosing wisely our teachers — and our closest friends, partners, spiritual teachers, and all who we trust — matters and matters deeply.
"A great deal of healing arises from a wounded self.
The sympathetic and empathic self creates
profound healing. When we courageously explore
our own pain, we become more insightful, more
ego contained, more awake to the essential
qualities of the healer. The wound becomes our gift."
— Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés
— Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés
* * * * *
Imagine a world where we humans are truly supporting each other in our paths of awakening and collaborating together to create a caring society. Just imagine if our numbers grew and grew until we hit a tipping point of those among us who are — as best as we can, and no one does this perfectly — allowing our hearts to break open, who are choosing our teachers and mentors and spiritual allies wisely, who are claiming the gifts held in our deepest wounds, and who are opening to an ever deepening capacity to care and to love. Just imagine.
Some will say — "Dream on, Molly. Ain't going to happen."
To that I respond that I know too many who have and are awakening amidst great odds against it. And I look upon my own story of growing up with the violence and trauma of a severely malignantly narcissistic and alcoholic mother, the suicide of my twin brother at age 26, my own addictions and depths of trauma — AND I have been healing and radically transforming my own life now for close to four decades. This is possible. Underneath it all is the truth of our sacred being, a sacredness we share with all of life.
I reflect upon the ripples of caring and positive change that we create individually and collectively as we open our hearts and our minds to what is possible...
When we seek it, there is a spiritual force which propels us forward — even when we're kicking and screaming with resistance, as I once was — when we commit ourselves to truth and to love. The power of Truth and of Love is stronger than all that works within us and in our world to pull us down into the dark waters where we suffer a slow drowning from being deprived of the oxygen of Life. At the same time that we see evidence all around us of human beings who are so angry, hurting, and lost, there are also vast numbers of people who live lives infused with meaning and purpose and caring.
May these be the ones who inform and inspire us. And may we increasingly act as sources of support and inspiration to one another.
Along the way, and no matter how bleak things can appear, let's not give up hope for ourselves and others. I don't believe that any of us are "deplorables" or that any belief system which dehumanizes other human beings is helpful. I certainly don't want anyone to think of me as being deplorable or _______ (fill in the blank) when I was living in my other lifetime of being asleep, addicted, and in a world of pain that I didn't know what to do with. And I don't want to treat anyone else that way. We can only create the caring world that we all yearn for if we are responding — not with more violence and hatred — but with compassion and deeper understanding, and this also includes when we're faced with the suffering we humans are capable of inflicting upon ourselves and others.
As we get the support we need to gradually clear away the obstacles which have served to sever our great capacity for truth and love and justice, at our core I believe that we humans all want the same thing. We do. It's only our wounds and trauma, our ignorance and illusions, our indoctrination into harmful belief systems, our addictions and looking for love in all the wrong places, our separation from our own hearts and that of others that cause us to act out unskillfully and cause harm to ourselves and other living beings.
So this is our ongoing individual and collective work — bravely recognizing the obstacles to our loving. What is it that stands in the way of being who we most truly are? What are the ways that we have been unknowingly feeding the "bad wolf" and limiting the ways in which we care for one another? What is it that is seeking to rise to consciousness within us as individuals and as a culture and a deeply interconnected world? What we give our attention to, what we value and what our belief systems are, all creates ripples which impact us and the greater whole of life on Earth. The choices we make, the ripples we create matter, and matter deeply.
Engaging in this inquiry, this self-reflection, this paying attention to what is happening within and all around us is empowering and connecting. As we go deeper into our hearts, we come to connect with the thread which weaves all of our hearts together. We expand our beliefs of what is possible and we see with greater clarity what is needed. And as we expand our capacity for awareness, generosity, kindness, truth, compassion, and love, we act out of our depths rather than the surface of our being. Our world yearns for us to show our depths.
Some will say — "Dream on, Molly. Ain't going to happen."
To that I respond that I know too many who have and are awakening amidst great odds against it. And I look upon my own story of growing up with the violence and trauma of a severely malignantly narcissistic and alcoholic mother, the suicide of my twin brother at age 26, my own addictions and depths of trauma — AND I have been healing and radically transforming my own life now for close to four decades. This is possible. Underneath it all is the truth of our sacred being, a sacredness we share with all of life.
I reflect upon the ripples of caring and positive change that we create individually and collectively as we open our hearts and our minds to what is possible...
When we seek it, there is a spiritual force which propels us forward — even when we're kicking and screaming with resistance, as I once was — when we commit ourselves to truth and to love. The power of Truth and of Love is stronger than all that works within us and in our world to pull us down into the dark waters where we suffer a slow drowning from being deprived of the oxygen of Life. At the same time that we see evidence all around us of human beings who are so angry, hurting, and lost, there are also vast numbers of people who live lives infused with meaning and purpose and caring.
May these be the ones who inform and inspire us. And may we increasingly act as sources of support and inspiration to one another.
Along the way, and no matter how bleak things can appear, let's not give up hope for ourselves and others. I don't believe that any of us are "deplorables" or that any belief system which dehumanizes other human beings is helpful. I certainly don't want anyone to think of me as being deplorable or _______ (fill in the blank) when I was living in my other lifetime of being asleep, addicted, and in a world of pain that I didn't know what to do with. And I don't want to treat anyone else that way. We can only create the caring world that we all yearn for if we are responding — not with more violence and hatred — but with compassion and deeper understanding, and this also includes when we're faced with the suffering we humans are capable of inflicting upon ourselves and others.
As we get the support we need to gradually clear away the obstacles which have served to sever our great capacity for truth and love and justice, at our core I believe that we humans all want the same thing. We do. It's only our wounds and trauma, our ignorance and illusions, our indoctrination into harmful belief systems, our addictions and looking for love in all the wrong places, our separation from our own hearts and that of others that cause us to act out unskillfully and cause harm to ourselves and other living beings.
So this is our ongoing individual and collective work — bravely recognizing the obstacles to our loving. What is it that stands in the way of being who we most truly are? What are the ways that we have been unknowingly feeding the "bad wolf" and limiting the ways in which we care for one another? What is it that is seeking to rise to consciousness within us as individuals and as a culture and a deeply interconnected world? What we give our attention to, what we value and what our belief systems are, all creates ripples which impact us and the greater whole of life on Earth. The choices we make, the ripples we create matter, and matter deeply.
Engaging in this inquiry, this self-reflection, this paying attention to what is happening within and all around us is empowering and connecting. As we go deeper into our hearts, we come to connect with the thread which weaves all of our hearts together. We expand our beliefs of what is possible and we see with greater clarity what is needed. And as we expand our capacity for awareness, generosity, kindness, truth, compassion, and love, we act out of our depths rather than the surface of our being. Our world yearns for us to show our depths.
"Remember that this is not something we do
just once or twice. Interrupting our destructive
habits and awakening our heart is the work of a
lifetime... Seen in this light, our question then
boils down to —What awakens my heart, and
what blocks that process from happening?"
— Pema Chödrön
* * * * *
There
are so many distractions which our culture offers up as substitutes
for intimacy and connection, generosity and love, truth and justice,
kindness and compassion, mindfulness and meaning, and conscious
awareness and wisdom. Tragically, this is what we too often have
become habituated to believing is normal in our society. And our
capacity to imagine and work for a different world, one which is just
and increasingly cares for all, is stunted or diminished or destroyed
altogether.
The visionaries, truth-tellers, and wisdom-keepers among us give a different perspective. Rabbi Michael Lerner passionately says "don't be realistic!" Satish Kumar wisely counsels — “Look at what realists have done for us. They have led us to war and climate change, poverty on an unimaginable scale, and wholesale ecological destruction. Half of humanity goes to bed hungry because of all the realistic leaders in the world."
Rabbi Lerner goes on to write, "The big challenge will be creating enough global solidarity that people can work together to save the Earth from the environmental catastrophe predicted by environmental scientists that will make the current pandemic look like a minor problem." (To expand on this, please read this excellent essay by Dr. Lerner, "Don't Waste An Economic Meltdown: A Strategy to Replace Capitalism" — https://www.tikkun.org/dont-waste-an-economic-meltdown?eType=EmailBlastContent&eId=721e3f69-e327-44bd-b3e5-6549ab524d47.)
This is indeed exactly what is needed at this time in our human history — global solidarity. This is solidarity that is built on our individual courage and caring, and that which grows and spreads within our families, friendships, communities, and nations. May this fierce caring and commitment to life be contagious!
It is my belief that, at our core, we humans yearn to live lives of deep connection, meaning, purpose, and service. We want to see an end to the root causes of our suffering and all that destroys rather than protects life. We need to imagine this world that we want and expand our beliefs as to what is possible. Rabbi Michael Lerner's latest book speaks to this in-depth, and it's my hope that more and more of us will read Revolutionary Love: a Political Strategy to Heal and Transform the World.
Together we can create a society that stops rewarding selfishness and in its place creates a culture of caring, justice, truth, and love. Together we can evolve beyond our human infancy and grow to embody our full potential as awakened beings. We can do this. We need to do this. The eyes of the children are watching.
The visionaries, truth-tellers, and wisdom-keepers among us give a different perspective. Rabbi Michael Lerner passionately says "don't be realistic!" Satish Kumar wisely counsels — “Look at what realists have done for us. They have led us to war and climate change, poverty on an unimaginable scale, and wholesale ecological destruction. Half of humanity goes to bed hungry because of all the realistic leaders in the world."
Rabbi Lerner goes on to write, "The big challenge will be creating enough global solidarity that people can work together to save the Earth from the environmental catastrophe predicted by environmental scientists that will make the current pandemic look like a minor problem." (To expand on this, please read this excellent essay by Dr. Lerner, "Don't Waste An Economic Meltdown: A Strategy to Replace Capitalism" — https://www.tikkun.org/dont-waste-an-economic-meltdown?eType=EmailBlastContent&eId=721e3f69-e327-44bd-b3e5-6549ab524d47.)
This is indeed exactly what is needed at this time in our human history — global solidarity. This is solidarity that is built on our individual courage and caring, and that which grows and spreads within our families, friendships, communities, and nations. May this fierce caring and commitment to life be contagious!
It is my belief that, at our core, we humans yearn to live lives of deep connection, meaning, purpose, and service. We want to see an end to the root causes of our suffering and all that destroys rather than protects life. We need to imagine this world that we want and expand our beliefs as to what is possible. Rabbi Michael Lerner's latest book speaks to this in-depth, and it's my hope that more and more of us will read Revolutionary Love: a Political Strategy to Heal and Transform the World.
Together we can create a society that stops rewarding selfishness and in its place creates a culture of caring, justice, truth, and love. Together we can evolve beyond our human infancy and grow to embody our full potential as awakened beings. We can do this. We need to do this. The eyes of the children are watching.
Bless
us all, no exceptions.
❤
❤
Molly
"It always seems impossible until it's done."
— Nelson Mandela